Life of an Indian Teenage Girl

Bottled up emotions

𒊹︎everyone deserves to explode some times, everyone deserves to be alone for a while𒊹︎

Do you know what it's like to just simply cry for a really long time. You don't even know why but you just cry.

I've been doing this a lot lately. I never blamed anyone else for it. It's all me.

I've cut before, but not wrists. Just fingers. I've thought about the scissors going lower and lower until it reaches my wrists. The people I know think of suicide as fantasy. Like I could never do it. Like I'm too normal to do it.

But they don't know that I've been crying everyday every night just trying to fit in and feel right.

My teachers don't know. My parents don't know. My friends don't know. How I feel is a mystery to all of them.

Every time I feel ignored, I feel like I've been crushed under a boulder.

After I leave a group chat they realize something is wrong. Now they keep asking me what's wrong. They say they are worried.

I cry so much everyday. I'm crying right now. I get angry for crying. For being so weakhearted.

I've bottled up emotions too much and now I just want to sit and cry all day.

Talking doesn't help.

Writing doesn't help.

Nothing helps.