Life of an Indian Teenage Girl

Insecurities

𒊹︎𝐸𝑣𝑒𝑟𝑦𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑖𝑠 𝑒𝑎𝑠𝑖𝑒𝑟 𝑠𝑎𝑖𝑑 𝑡ℎ𝑎𝑛 𝑑𝑜𝑛𝑒𒊹︎

So I was just writing a poem today about how I hate my life these days and I finished it and I come on Wattpad and I see a notification from ShortSlytherinWeirdo . She has this book called Ranting and Randomness. I think that's what it's called, apologies if I got it wrong. So she just posted a new chapter and I went to check it out. Now this is not me dissing him/her ( I don't know about that either), so if you're searching for beef you might as well leave.

Anyway, back to my point. I read the chapter and I felt it was super positive and she was trying to help all of us out. So this chapter is inspired by that. So ya no beefs. Sorry!

There are a lot of people just like me that look in the mirror every morning and the only thing they see is the sad excuse for a human. What do I see? A pathetic teenage girl that's trying to make things work by fake smiling.

But in truth, I feel myself a mistake. Why? Not because I compare myself to others or because they treat me wrong. It's just about the whys.

Why do they hurt me? Why don't they listen to me? Why haven't I had a good long lasting friendship? Why don't people talk to me first? Why do I have to feel bad every time I speak? Why do I feel stuck?

I have never really compared myself to anyone even when others compared me to other people. But I feel bad just for being me.

I have a terrible voice, body and personality. I have no amazing talents. I hate sports. I'm no good at singing. These are all insecurities that I've put on myself not because others can do all these things but only and only because I can't.

Now many might say, Don't say 'I can't', say 'I can'. But I'm telling you a 100% that cutting off a letter and a punctuation is not going to solve my problems.

Then what will? I have no idea.

Stop looking at the mirror? But I need to if I need to get dressed up.

Stop overthinking? But that's how I get ideas to write about.

I always find myself worried about what others think of me. Am I too weird? Do I look terrible? Why is she looking at me? Why didn't she reply to my text? Why do they leave me on read? Am I too rude? Am I too nice?

I don't know. I've never gotten the answer to this and I probably never will because I decided the best way to get rid of negativity was to stay away from my friends. So now I don't talk to anyone other than my online friends and I'm quite happy all though I find myself overthinking way too much when my online friends go offline.

Like a few chapters I have written before, this chapter has no good ending. I have not found one yet. I have not found a way to cure my problems. I'm just a pathetic, teenager that's too sad.

I can't even call myself depressed because I don't think I'm worthy of that title. I don't think I'm worthy or important enough to even have a mental problem. So I just say I'm sad, that's all.

ShortSlytherinWeirdo , I know I said this chapter was inspired by yours, but I also know this chapter is a huge negative one for your extremely positive post.

I'm saying this again and again I have absolutely nothing against ShortSlytherinWeirdo or your post!!