Chapter 51. Please?

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❗️I'm sorry I never put a trigger warning on here

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❗️I'm sorry I never put a trigger warning on here. Eating Disorders most definitely occur throughout the book, including this chapter❗️

Remi Lincoln (Rank Division 10)
I lay my head down on Leonard's lap and fix my sideways position on the dinning room bench. I wipe a tear away from my face but the others seemed to drop down a little too fast, dripping into a small puddle and soaking into Leonard's grey sweatpants. I didn't think he cared though.

He runs a hand through my hair softly and rubs his thumb on my shoulder, making me feel safer than I've ever felt.

The dinning room was dark as hell. I don't know how..he even got down here with just the one light shining dimly on my rank table.

It was a comfortable silence for a while. His steady breathing almost made me fall asleep, but I forced myself to just rest my eyes.

*Flashback* (Earlier that Night)
I slightly scoff as I throw the bloody towel into my laundry bucket. I fucking hate getting bloody noses but I get them so much, I surprise myself that I'm not used them yet.

Well...I only ever get nose bleeds because of one thing. My body needs food.

The thing is..is that I'm not hungry. The thought of food makes me want to just..ugh it's almost indescribable. I hate myself so much and as much as I just want to stay here and sleep, I can't if I have a nose bleed.

I sigh and push myself off of my bed. I make sure I have my GYPT and reluctantly open my door.

"Just..just let it happen." I say quietly, grabbing a sweater as I leave.

The dinning room was dark. It was late and surprisingly, no one..I mean no one out of the 1400 people here, was here.

I stumble over into the room, holding my stomach as I felt a lot of pressure for no reason. I cringe and try to look through the dark but...how dumb do I have to be to really do that?

I use the wall as a stupid guide and make my way to the hundreds of light switches in the corner. I grunt as I feel through them, trying to find the rank 10 switch. It had a pattern of dots that I could tell from which were made for the hard of hearing, but it's good for me as well I suppose.

I finally find the switch and flip it. I see my table dimly light up. The lights must be running low.

I wrap the sweater around my body and head into the kitchen. I feel the fridge handle and as I open it, the bright light seems to almost blind me. I shut my eyes before forcing them open again.

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