Virgil's Journal (Sander Sides | Prinxiety)

31

13th August 2020

I'll get straight into what happened..

Boy, this was a LONG day.

--

I woke up to find myself in the comforting embrace of a certain prince. I recollect my thoughts and internally groan, dread lacing every second of it.

I carefully move the prince's arms away, forcing myself upright, revealing the rest of Princey's room. My eyes travelled across the room, noticing all the broadway posters and all the royal colours. Fit for a prince.

I hear shuffling beside me and then a groan.

"Nghh- go back to sleep- too early." He mumbled, half asleep.

"God, you're acting like me. I told you that you needed the rest you idiot." I roll my eyes, looking at the boy wrapped in the silk covers.

"Oi-" He paused to yawn, "you're the idiot, emo." I just laugh at this and decided to get up as Princey too decided to sit up in bed, disheveled hair and all.

"What's the time?" He said in a slightly raspy voice. I pick up my phone and reply with a simple;

"Uh- 4:28am.."

With a moan of complaint, Princey threw himself back on the bed.

"Ouch..." He groaned.

"You're still injured, dickhead." I state, bored.

"Ugh- it's not that bad!"

"Would you mind telling me what the hell you did to get like that." I say, turning to the other boy.

"I don't know- would you mind telling me what happened to you?" He cocked his brow at me, proud he deflected to situation to me. My breathing quickens, thoughts flooding my head.

"I-..." Is all I could stutter out. I stared down at the sheets, hands gripping the soft fabric. Those thoughts dug their way deeper into my mind to the point I started to get a headache. Breathing was uneven, shaking and overthinking.

I was having a panic attack. Right infront of princey.

I kept my gaze down to my hands, trying my best to calm down. That was when I was snapped out of my trance.

Princey placed his hand onto mine, taking it for his own now caressing it with his thumb.

"Don't feel forced to. If you're not comfortable with telling me just yet that's fine, I just want to help you. I want you to know I'm here." He said, bruising his pride.

I let out a shaky sigh.

I mentally prepared myself, "I used to- uh- do this a lot. But then you came into my life and things got so much better. I guess I, uh-.. fell back into my old ways?" I left out massive details, anxiety getting in the way.

He listened to every word, never letting go of my hand. We were basically just holding hands on his bed.

"So, it was me being gone that.. triggered that?" He spoke carefully.

I nod, staring down at our hands that were now intertwined. In all honesty I was trying my hardest not to break down.

He must of took notice of me staring and went to retract his hand, only to have me grab it again, avoiding his gaze.

"How about we go to sleep then talk about this later, because I don't know about you but I'm fucking tired." He states, smiling as ever.

I let out a small chuckle to make sure he wouldn't worry about me.

"Yeah.., thanks."
He pulled me down and wrapped his arm around my upper waist.

I just lay there awkwardly, not exactly sure how to respond to the gesture, waiting until I can fall asleep again.

That feeling was back and stronger then ever.