Virgil's Journal (Sander Sides | Prinxiety)

2

20th June 2020

I want to do a quick recap, Logan said it's "mandatory to figuratively ground yourself", meaning I should take time to think about positive things in my life.

So, here's the recap:

When I first showed up on one of Thomas' videos in 2017, I felt like everyone hated me. They hated me for being me, they wouldn't care if I died. They'd rather it.
Princey fucking hated the living shit out of me.
Patton pitied me.
Logan doesn't give two shits.
However, in that accepting Anxiety video my opinions changed slightly.

What Princey said to me, "You make us better." That made me feel., happy. I never felt that around them. He still continues with the nicknames but I know that's something he can't control and doesn't mean to offend me since when I mentioned his name called he felt bad.. for me.
Ever since then his ego has lessened around me which is comforting, the nicknames are kind of our thing now and I genuinely enjoy being around him when he's in a chilled mood, sometimes he was too much. You can tell when the nicknames are supposed to be insulting, which I still got a few of them.

Patton is pretty much like my dad now, he tries to push me to be the nicest version of myself and notices when I start to panic. He takes my emotions into count and tries to involve me in the group "shenanigans".

Logan is ok I guess, he got me some headphones since he knows it helps my anxiety and recommended some breathing exercises. He's just too emotionally unavailable for someone who needs comforting a lot, but he tries his best which is nice. He still gets annoyed and disappointed in me though.

Thomas is willing to work with me and doesn't mind my presence as much, which is cool. I'm so glad he came up with that video if i'm being honest..

I'm grateful for them, they make me feel wanted, most times anyways.

Uh I guess that's it. I gotta go, Pat's begging me to join them downstairs to eat dinner with them.