Virgil's Journal (Sander Sides | Prinxiety)

23

27th july 2020

I have to go see Picani tonight, but the catch was: we have a family movie night. I can't not attend or else dad would be heartbroken. I have to figure out how on earth i'll sneak away.

It starts in an hour so I have some planning to do.

Another Roman update:

Princey has never failed to sooth me after an anxiety attack. I still have yet to actually go to his room for comfort and the same with the fact I haven't let him see me whilst i'm having one- it's just always over text or voice notes.
They always go something like,
'Hey, I'm not too sure if this helps all that much but I thought i'd do another voice note just to help ground you. It's probably overthinking that caused this knowing you, heh. Just remember; in for 4, hold for 7 and out for eight, okay? You got this, block the voice out in your head and just focus on my voice, I believe in you, you're gonna be okay, Vee.'
Or something like that anyways..

He's also helped me find out the things that calm me down, he said that creative things help Thomas so it should help at least a little to draw or something- and it did, a lot actually. I used to doodle things for fun but I never noticed how much it helps, this is something I should tell Picani.

OH SHIT, PICANI!

Oh god, okay- how on earth will I sneak out?
—

That's when I heard my name being called.

"SON, ARE YOU READY?" Patton- shit.

"Uh- yeah- one sec!" I raised my voice only slightly, not liking loud noises.
I checked I looked okay enough to go downstairs, agreeing I looked somewhat presentable I proceeded to walk downstairs to the common rooms.

"Hey, Kiddo!" You can guess who said that.

"Uh- hi. What are we watching?"

"Oh! Roman chose out Hercules!"

Of course.

"It's under appreciated honestly!" I hear the royal voice called out. I scoff and proceeded to sit on the edge of the sofa, curling up as small as I could, knees to my chest. Princey sat next to me, Patton and Logan on the other side.

The movie started, popcorn and drinks on the coffee table already. I started to get tired as the movie went on, especially since Princey would softly sing along to the songs.

"My head is screaming get a grip boy, unless your dying to cry your heart out.
No chance no way I won't say it." The princely man sang in a quiet voice only I could just about hear.

I could almost fall asleep at his singing, his voice being slightly different from everyone else's, it was more royal and smooth. It made me feel warm and comfortable, I nearly fell asleep right then and there, it was like some sort of lullaby.

I didn't notice it but I had been smiling at it, Princey eventually taking notice. He just casually looked at me and smirked in in heartfelt way. It made me feel that feeling- another thing i should mention to Picani.

PICANI-

Oh god- uh, how do I get out of this? Say I'm sick? No, Pat would panic.

"Hey, uh- I'm kinda tired so I'm gonna head to sleep, have fun." Really, that's the best I can come up with?

"Are you sure, kiddo?" I nodded along to dads follow up question.

"Yeah, you did seem tired.." Princey spoke up. Thank god he was singing before.

"I agree, it would be best advised you get some rest." Logan the smartass called out.

"Thanks, night guys." I spoke.

"Night, son!"

"Goodnight, Virgil. Get the sufficient amount of sleep you need."

"Farewell, Vee!"

I smile to myself, appreciating my friends- no, family.

Anyway, I grab my journal, my coat and head out the window, heading into the imagination.

I run through the kingdom that Princey permanently conjured, rushing to the middle of the town. I reach the big, brick building and head in.

"Picani?" I call out.

Emile proceeds to make his dramatic entrance, "Virgil! How nice to see you again! How have you been getting on?"

I explain that the journal is helping in many ways and how I now have Romans support.

"Aw, that's sweet of him, how's that going?"

"Well, he makes sure not to overstep any boundaries, is checking up on me and making sure i'm comfortable in situations where I wouldn't normally be." I explain.

"Ugh, Prinxiety serotonin"

"Excuse me?" I say, confused.

"Oh, nothing! Anything else you would like to tell me?"

"Well, I found out that drawing helps the anxiety but also I keep feeling sick."

"Sick?"

"Yeah, like: I could be talking to Princey casually then next minuet i'm feeling sad, scared, happy, jealous and so much more all at once."

Dr. Picani just smiles, "Who else do you feel this around?"

"Oh, nobody."

He smiles more.

"Make sure to keep onto Roman. I'll see you next time, Anxiety." He chimed in glee as I left.
He was nice, just very odd.

I head home, humming some MSI songs on the way. By the time I got back home I was unnoticed which meant I succeeded. At least I think so.