The Dream Chapter (TXT X Reader)

Why?

  Chapter 30

⚠️Trigger Warning: Mentions of death, suicide, and bullying. Grieving. Very sad and angsty⚠️

  You didn't want to wake up. You wanted to lay in your bed all day. Sleep through the whole day. But you knew you couldn't. You could barely even fall asleep. For half of the night, you stared at the ceiling, taking a mental note of every imperfection on the ceiling. You tossed and turned and you just couldn't seem to get out of your head. You wanted to fast forward through the day. You felt insensitive thinking these things, but if you were being honest, you didn't want to cry anymore. You wanted to be happy but every year when this day came around, you couldn't help but think back on all the bad things that happened.

  You eventually gave up on trying to sleep, grabbing your phone from your bedside table and starting to scroll through Instagram to try and make yourself laugh. Maybe with some funny posts or videos. You just wanted to cheer up. You didn't want to be sad anymore, but you couldn't help it.

  You heard your front door unlock and open. It closed gently and then you heard light footsteps padding to your room. The door opened, just a sliver, and Kai peeked his head in, seeing you were still awake.

  "Can't sleep?" He asked, leaving the door open just a crack.

  "How'd you know?" You asked in a hushed voice.

  "You can never sleep on this day. Also I saw you were active on Instagram," he chuckled lightly.

  You only nodded and gestured for him to enter your room properly. You scooted to one side of your bed and let Kai sit beside you. This is how this day usually ended up. You wouldn't be able to sleep and Kai could just sense it using his magical (Y/N) senses and he would come over, using his own parents key to your house, and he would try to coax you to sleep.

  The amount you stayed up got worse each year. When you were younger, you would stay up an hour past your bedtime. Now, it got to the point where you would pull all nighters unintentionally. That just made the whole day worse.

  "How're you feeling," Kai asked as he settled beside you.

  "It's the ten year anniversary of my brothers death. Not very good," you told him, giving a small smile to show him that you were trying to be okay.

  "I guess that was a stupid question," he mumbled.

  Kai was just trying to help and you knew that. You got very sensitive around these times and it's understandable why you did. Kai made it his mission every year for the past ten years to try and help you through this day, but he knew it was really hard.

  "Do you wanna talk about it?" He asked gently.

  "You ask me that every year. You should already know that my answer is yes," you responded just as gently. "It's always the same spiel every year, just with a better understanding of what happened and a more advanced vocabulary," you joked, attempting to lighten the mood before it got darker. You could feel the lump growing in your throat. "You think you'd get sick of hearing it."

  "Never," Kai responded, reaching over and grabbing your hand gently to let you know that he was there for you.

  "He was my age, Kai," you started. "He was fifteen, turning sixteen. He didn't deserve it." Your eyes were already welding up but your voice never wavered. It was something you taught yourself to do. You didn't want your parents to see you cry so you figured if you could speak without showing any symptoms of crying, you could get away with it easily.

  "I know he didn't," Kai responded gently, rubbing the back of your hand with his thumb in attempt to comfort you.

  "He would've been 25 this year. He would've been finished college and possibly even dating someone. Close to marriage even. He could've had a family," you murmured.