Until We Lose Ourselves

50

Eden smashed her head against the wall. I hate you, you ruin everything, I hate this. How had it changed so quickly? How had she suddenly pulled away and then pushed him away? How had she so easily let go of control again? Why couldn't she stop?

Tears poured out of her eyes. You don't deserve to fucking cry. You're perfectly fine, you don't need to be so self-pitying. He's the one you terrified. He's the one you aggressed against, and you're crying? You're pathetic. And so fucking selfish.

Her sobs echoed loudly in the silent room. She shivered, pulling her legs close to her chest and hugging them. Her heart cried out for Jonah.

.

"Borderline Personality Disorder can come with other disorders too, like depression, anger issues, and bipolar disorder. The symptoms go on to physical. It takes a toll on your..."

Eden let the podcast go on, staring down at her hands.

She heard the front door open loudly, and she threw down the headphones, leaving the laptop as it was, and rushed out of her room.

She looked down and saw Jonah look up at her at the stairs. She shakily made her way down as he made his up. And they met at his floor.

It was quiet for a moment.

"Jonah," Eden began.

"I know why you were mad. I'm sorry, I shouldn't have pushed it." He said, very fast, his fingers fumbling with the hem of his shirt.

"What? No, you-"

"I saw the news. Harry was signed by Hade's label. That's why you were upset, right?"

Eden stared at him. "Yeah, but that doesn't excuse what I-"

"It's alright. It really is." Jonah didn't look up at her.

"I'm sorry." Eden breathed.

Jonah gave a quick nod before moving through and heading towards his room.

Eden sighed, feeling increasingly troubled.

.

Eden gave Jonah a smile from across the counter.

He smiled back, though there was barely any heart in it.

"What're you making?" She questioned.

"A new recipe, I'm trying out. We'll see what comes out at the end." He chuckled.

"You're always the one doing the cooking around the house." Eden bit her lip.

"Well, you help. You can help right now too." He gave her a small, but real smile.

"I would love to." Eden moved by the corner to join him on the other side of the counter.

"Pour this here."

"Is two tablespoons enough?"

"Where's the pepper?'

"Should I thin the slices?"

"There's barely any salt."

"Probably because you're so sweet."

That last comment made Jonah blush, and Eden blushed too, realising what she had said. Jonah didn't look up though, and remained focused on the work.

.

"A little spicy." Jonah admitted, standing up to head back to the kitchen to drink water.

"Not much. I like the spice. And even if that's a flaw, it's still amazing. Really." Eden told him, staying seated at the table, eating more.

"Yeah but, my taste buds can't handle the spice." Jonah told her.

"We can add more of the other stuff and the spices will be balanced." Eden suggested.

"Yeah, but we've run out."

"We can send Sebastian to get them, or actually, it will take too long. If you can't handle it, we can order something for you." Eden watched him debate with himself, leaning against the counter.

"I'll get food delivered." He decided. "What do you want?"

"Oh, I'm fine with this."

"Then what's the point of me ordering either..."

"Don't stop yourself. I'll eat whatever I get, honestly." Eden stood up, grabbing her plate. "You know what, I'll get whatever you're having. We'll deal with this tomorrow."

Jonah, with his eye bags prominent, hid the smile that tried to grace his face.

.

Eden's eyes watched Jonah from over her piano set.

He was tall, his figure lanky, and even without any buff, he was handsome.

His eyes shut as his fingers gracefully moved over the strings of his guitar. Her eyes didn't leave him all that often, but she had to focus on the piano as well.

His eyes opened and he looked down at the guitar he was playing. His head bopping slightly.

She adored the sight.

Eventually, after over hours' work, their session ended, and Jonah stood to keep his guitar back into its case.

Eden was quick to pack back up her piano case, moving over to stand behind him, so once he turned, she was right in front of him.

She wasted not a moment, pressing her lips against his.

His hands quickly moved up to her waist, and she deepened the kiss.

One of his hands moved further up and cupped her face.

His small figure made her feel more dominant, except he was taller, and he suddenly dipped her back, making her hands quickly go up to grab his shoulders.

His teeth tugged on her lower lip, asking for entrance, and she granted. His tongue slipped into her mouth and met hers.

She didn't realise she was back up straight, until he turned them around and pushed her back against the wall, his lips not leaving her once.

They took short breaks to breath, only to press their lips together again.

She gasped and kept her lips attached to his again.

They heard someone clear their throat, along with a bark, immediately breaking apart.

"Hello." Sophia said, smirking, standing with another girl, and Cinnamon moved around them.

"How did you-" Eden began.

"Your dog can open doors. And that happened a while ago, were you two not planning on breaking apart?" Sophia scrunched up her nose.

"Who's this?" Jonah changed the topic.

"I'm Martha." The other girl introduced herself.

"My girlfriend." Sophia informed.

"Oh, nice to meet you." Jonah smiled.

"So the trial begins..." Eden said, looking at Sophia.

Sophia laughed.

"We're not the kind of couple I'm sure she told you we were." Martha laughed.

"She mentioned lots of PDA and nicknames." Jonah recalled.

"That's it? Well then, we are that kind of couple." Martha laughed.

Eden stifled her laugh.

Jonah's hand found hers and she felt her heart melt.

"Let's go upstairs and decide how we're spending today." He said.

There were voices of agreement.