Until We Lose Ourselves

30

Eden hoped the pills were enough. She couldn't imagine going through abortion. She had no idea how the process was, but she hoped it wouldn't come to it, for it was the only option in her mind. She stayed in her room for a while.

She came back to Jonah's room after taking a shower. She waited on his bed until he came out of the bathroom, rubbing his head with a towel, wearing casual everyday clothes. He saw her, and smiled to himself. "Where were you?"

"I went to my room for a bit." She replied.

Jonah hummed, walking over to the bed.

"Should we-"

"When will this be over?" Eden interrupted him.

Jonah sighed. "Soon, hopefully."

"I never imagined leaving the house would become a blessing." Eden said.

"He'll be caught. We will go outside again. I promise you." Jonah placed his hand on top of hers.

"It isn't up to you."

"It isn't, but I'm telling you, that we will walk out the front door again." Jonah held her hand tightly.

Eden squeezed his hand back. She wished she was different, or they were different, so that maybe they could be together, but Eden ignored those thoughts again.

Jonah thought of if they could be something more once the danger was over. Maybe he could ask her then. Maybe.

And they had no idea how soon it would be, and how unprepared they would be.

.

There was a resounding thud at the back side of the house, and almost all of the officers rushed over.

It was dinner time, and everyone was found downstairs. Alarmed and confused, they stood up.

"What was that?" Lili asked.

With another thud, the electricity went out. All lights, including the ones outside in the lawns, went out.

"What the hell..." Liam mumbled.

A loud crash came, and there was firing. Screams came, and those who could, ran to save themselves.

Another crash followed and so did another scream. Their hearts beat heavily, and they wondered if they'd see their friends or their families again.

It was only a few minutes before the officers figured out that they had been misled and burst into the house, only two holding torches.

The next moments passed by in a blur, but he was caught. "I won't leave! No!" He seemed to be screaming. The hiders didn't dare move.

The electricity came back on after a bit, but it was still a while until, "The house is secure! You all can see for yourselves now!" An officer announced. The place had been entirely checked, letting out the hiders, and they were sure there was no one else.

Still, Jonah didn't move. He didn't want to know whom they might have lost, whose face he might not see smile again.

His heart beat crazily, his forehead was sweaty, and he began to cry, hugging himself, sliding down to the floor. His hair stuck to his forehead, and he moved his fingers through them, scratching his head in the process.

Eden had been the first to scramble away, and was the first to come out. Her eyes fell on the two bodies, unable to look up to their faces, though she saw one was in a police uniform, but the blood splattered all over made her heart beat wildly. The officers rushed back in to take the bodies to the hospital. Eden caught a glimpse of their faces.

The other one was Chase.

.

"Jonah please." Eden let her hands grasp his face and pull him to face her.

Jonah smiled. "I'm really not hungry, Eden."

"You won't eat for my sake?" Eden scowled.

"I will, just not now." He promised, placing his hands on hers, that were still on his cheeks.

Eden pulled away. She folded her hands against her chest. "Now."

"I could eat you out right now." Jonah suggested.

Eden hit him with a pillow. He smirked. "Although I'd very much enjoy that, I'd rather we eat food first, because I don't like having to get out of bed after sex." Eden glared at him.

Jonah's face held a slight grin at the comment. He forgot everything with her. Then he sighed. He offered her his hand, and she immediately grabbed it, pulling him up and out of the room.

It was a peaceful Wednesday afternoon. A few days after the attack, they had been allowed to leave. Despite having been wishing nothing other than that, all of them were hesitant to part. After extending their stay another night, they all left, happy to reunite with the outside world.

They had visited Millie, Lili, Chase, and even Dean in the hospital. Dean seemed to ignore the bad blood between him and Eden. Chase was not conscious, and Millie was recovering slowly. Her back and right leg and hand were broken. Chase had been shot in the knee, as well as in the abdomen. Lili too, had been shot in the arm, but she was not in bad condition.

Jonah still struggled in the rooms where he had seen blood. Eden helped him feel more comfortable. Jonah was there for her too, when she started to panic, or feel afraid, but neither showed too much of their sides that were hidden from the world. Jonah did cry in front of her once after the attack, when she had too, but other than that, they made themselves mostly seem fine. As if they didn't dream about it. As if it didn't haunt them every day. As if they weren't jumpy or alarmed at every small noise.

Jonah's appetite had significantly decreased, but Eden made attempts to change it back. The first day after the invasion, he hadn't eaten anything, and looked ghastly pale the next day. She didn't want to see that again.

However, they didn't tell each other about the feelings they had developed over time. They didn't want to lose what they had.

But they still would.

That day, they visited the hospital again. It was much easier that everyone was admitted in the same one. Though, once everyone was there, Eden slipped away unnoticed.

She took the piece of paper out of her pocket and walked shakily to where she was expected to be. She took deep breaths to calm her nerves and hoped for the best.

She soon found herself seated across Doctor Teresa. She anxiously awaited the results.

"Well, you're not pregnant." Dr. Teresa informed her.

Eden breathed a sigh of relief, letting her head in fall her hands.

The doctor was silent for a moment. "There's more."

Eden looked up with a questioning gaze.

"You are infertile."

"What?"

"You can't have kids. Due to excessive drug usage in the past years, there's almost no chance you can ever become a mother." Dr. Teresa's gaze lingered at the file before her, before looking back at Eden.

"Well... I guess that's alright. I never saw myself having such commitments in my life anyway. Probably saves another child from abandonment." Eden smiled.

"You're okay with this?"

"There's no point not to be okay. I can have sex without making the guy wear a condom."

"You can catch STDs."

"Oh right, that. Don't worry, doc, I won't do that, I was just kidding..." Eden smiled.

Doctor Teresa sighed, shaking her head.