Wandering Heart | YoonJinKook ✔️

22. The Answer

Jungkook's Pov:

To say I was furious was an understatement. It was way past midnight, and Seokjin was nowhere to be found. I had called Jae to tell him goodnight only to find out he was with our long time babysitter and not Jin.

At first, I thought maybe he had gone out with Jimin and called him to check in on what time he would be home, so I would know if I should go by the house with Jae. I mean he didn't have to get a babysitter, I could've kept Jae with me. But, he didn't pick up my call nor answer my text.

I tried reaching out to Jimin, who told me he hadn't seen Jin. Called his workplace, they were closed. It was very unusual for him not to be home or be out this late. Therefore, I decided to go by the house and release the babysitter, as I stayed with Jae, not thinking it would come to midnight and Jin wasn't home, and him being unreachable.

I was going through various emotions, not knowing if something happened, he never responded to my appointment message regarding us going for counseling. And I had left pretty abruptly last night, so I guess I deserved being ignored, but I was still worried. This was not like him at all.

My fingers became numb from flipping through the t.v channel in the living room as I waited for a sign of him to come home. I suddenly felt like shit, too, wondering if this is how he was when I would come home late. I screwed up our marriage big time. Jae will certainly hate me when he gets older and finds out a lot of this crap.

I don't think I could ever right my wrongs, either. Cheating was pretty fucked up of me, and after having a one on one with the counselor I got for us, I saw that even more too.

The sound of the alarm turning off and the door opening made me jump up from the sofa and walked towards our front door. Jin walked in, closing the door, and leaned against it, closing his eyes. I stood there and watched him; he didn't see me.

"What am I doing?" I heard him say.

"I am wondering the same thing, what are you doing and where are you coming from?" He dropped his bag onto the floor, and his eyes opened wide, looking at me.

"J-Jungkook, w-what are you doing here?"

I walked over to him but stepped back immediately. "Were you drinking Seokjin?"

He composed himself, bending down and picking up his bag. "What is it to you? Why are you here, I thought you weren't "coming" back until we did counseling?" he attempts to walk past me, but I pull him back.

"Last night you found out you could be pregnant and you went out drinking, are you serious right now?"

Jin pulled his hand away from me, "I am not pregnant! I am a grown adult, I can drink if I want to, or do I need your permission to do so?"

"What is wrong with you? Why are you behaving like this?" I looked at the man before me, he was nothing like the Seokjin I once knew, and I don't know if I was the one to be blamed for the change within him.

"Oh, so I decide to live a little, and now something is wrong with me? You can go out there, have fun, cheat and do what you want and it's fine. But I have a drink and come home, and something is wrong with me?"

I looked him up and down as he spoke, his neck filled with red marks, the buttons on his shirt weren't fully closed, and his belt was resting on top of the bag he was holding.

I shook my head and took a step back, feeling light-headed. "Seokjin, where were you?" The image was wrong, no way, he wasn't, I was the bad guy, not him, he wouldn't. I kept chanting to myself as I waited for him to respond to me.

"I-I am not going to answer and I- I don't need to-"

"A-are you having an affair?" I choked out, looking at him.

His eyes widen, but then he closed it and looked back at me, "it's not an affair if we aren't together."

Fuck! That hit harder than I expected it to. I had no response. I just stood there and looked at him.

I saw tears well in his eyes as he turned his back to walk away.

"I guess that's your answer then."

"What?" he turned to look at me.

"To us, going to marriage counseling? I guess this is your answer, right? Thanks for letting me know. I guess in this circumstance; I am not supposed to be angry right. I was wondering what you meant when you said I was reaping what I sowed, and I guess now I know."

"J-Jungkook it's not-"

I put my hand up and stopped him. "No, it's okay for once I actually don't want to know. I deserved it. Let's not waste any more time Seokjin, let's end it. Every day we try holding on; we are only destroying each other more. I don't want us to be in a place where we can't be there for our son, so let's end this if we are going to continue down this path."

He dropped his bag and lowered himself onto the floor, "I-I don't want to. I want to fix us."

I couldn't believe what I was seeing. "Seriously? Well, you have an unusual way of showing it."

"So do you!" he screamed at me.

"And this is what we are not going to do. I take full responsibility for everything I have ever done, and I was trying to make it right, but look at you, instead of facing the shit you keep doing, you are putting this back on me. It's always me, right? Your pain always trumps mine, doesn't it? Well, since I am the fuck up, let me make it easy for both of us, we are done!" And with that, I walked out of the house, slamming the door, feeling strongly regarding my decision that our marriage was no longer worth fixing.

I can't fix our marriage and a broken person at the same time, especially if I was doing it alone.