Animalistic | h.s

chapter twenty seven

 Not edited. Dylan is Dylan O'Brien. Ry is Ashton Moio. I forgot to tell you guys in the last chapter.

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It’s too much to me. I’ve had enough. If I ever burst, it will be worth it. Hiding the truth under my arms and risking my life for it, it's such a good way to die. I can listen to how sarcastically that sounds in my head. I don’t want to keep lying to everyone, but it’s there another way to save myself from all of this?

Harry is sitting on the chair, staring directly at me as I sit crossed legs in bed. My back is against the headboard and my eyes are back at him. We’ve not said anything since he left to go the bathroom and he noticed that something is wrong with me. There are many things wrong with me, but seems that knowing that he’s been with my best friend it’s more a problem for me.

“I’ve said things in that train, I didn’t mean.”

“It’s not that.” I interrupt him. “I want silence; it’s that too much to ask?”

“I know you’re hurt. I can see it in your eyes every time you look at me.”

“Don’t say you don’t mean those words, you obviously did. Can you look at yourself for a moment Harry?” I point at the mirror. “You’re a psychopath! An unstable, violent person whose words that leave their mouth are pure venoms. You don’t have feelings, not at all; I must have the guts to be talking to you this way when I know you’ll probably kill me like the murderer you are.”

Harry stands up and I glance at the door. If I notice him approaching to me, I won’t hesitate to run out of this room. He just stands there with a poker face and he walks to stand in front of the mirror.

“Then you say you like me and continue to mess with my feelings…”

“I’m not a murderer.” His voice shakes with anger.

“You told me you are and that I remind you of your sister. Were you lying too?”

His fingers start shaking. He turn his hands into fists and he put his both fists in his temples. All I could hear in the room was his loud breathing and whimpers. I look at the door again, but if I do escape where am I heading? I’ll be with Harry in no time again.

“Tell me Harry, what you’re hiding…”

He punches the mirror, breaking it into pieces. I grab the pillow and cover my face hugging it. I feel the bed dip and the covers move. The air surrounded me start feeling warm, I know he’s close to me. I slowly take the pillow off me. My eyes turn away from my lap to meet with his. He’s hovering me. He’s kneeling, his hands are next to my thighs, and his face starts getting closer, intimidating. I end up laying down and looking up at him frightened.

“Not you. Don’t ever call me that again, ever. Not you. You know I’m not capable of that.”

“I barely know you, how can I be sure I’m with someone who isn’t a murderer. Don’t you remember? That’s what you said to me earlier, how can you now say you’re not?” I try to push him, but he locks my wrists with one hand above my head. “I’m sure Michael has a good reason to kill me, I’m starting to think you’re the bad guy.”

He leans even more to my face, his body almost crushing mine.

“Don’t talk to me that way.” He whispers strictly. I look away to the wall. “Look at me, tell me you understand.”

“I’m not your dog.”

“You’ve gained so much confidence to talk to me with this bullshit because you know I wouldn’t hurt you.” He gets off me.

“You’ve hurt me, Harry. Not physically, but you can tell mentally. Starting by telling me I don’t want to be a nun…”

“You’re fucking insane. For once I thought you were letting this go.”

“You turned me into this! Look at me! I can’t even sleep with all these doubts!”

“I’m going to get another room for me.”

“You’re not leaving until you get me something to eat.”

He chuckles, “You have two legs in function.”

[*]

In the morning, I take a head start to the train station. Last night was awful and even after he left. I felt the room lonely and quiet, just how I wanted it, but that’s not how I wanted to talk to Harry about what he told me. I didn’t eat anything, but this morning I woke up by room service. He sent someone to bring me food.

“Train will be arriving in ten minutes.” I find Harry waiting on a bench. “Thought you took a head start.”

“I thought you… you were in the hotel.” I sit next to him.

“Do you know where I slept last night?”

I didn’t answer.

“In the hallway, at your door.”

“If you want me to pity you-”

“Save it.” He takes a deep breath, “Listen, Kemyss, I want to start fresh.”

I roll my eyes with a scoff, “Fresh.”

“I’ve done many mistakes in my life. I don’t regret some and I regret the rest, either way I can’t go back and change the past. Therefore, I don’t want my past hurting us.”

Us.

“We’re messed up.”

“I think we’re bipolar.” He jokes, “So… what do you say? Do you want to leave everything behind and focus on me protecting your ass?”

“I can’t, I want to but…” I bite my bottom lip. “Don’t you think it’s unfair to not know why my life is in danger?”

“Fuck it, Flo. I thought you wanted to start over. You’re hopeless.”

“It’s not that easy. If you could have asked me this sooner, I would have accepted, but yesterday you told me things that have me confused. If you don’t tell me, I might as well, get into the bottom of this myself.”

“Curiosity killed the cat.” He quotes and we hear the train arrive.

[*]

When we’re back in England, Harry couldn’t stop complaining that he smells like rubbish and that he should’ve taken a shower before leaving the room. To make him feel better, I told him I didn’t shower too. Anyways, we look like hobos that haven’t showered for weeks and slept in a dumpster.

“So, you thought of an excuse?”

“Not really,” we walk pass the woods, getting closer to the cabin. “Do you know where you’re staying?”

“I guess I’ll have to find another hotel around here,”

“Okay, hey um, I know the way. You can stay here; I don’t want the nuns spotting you.”

“No.” He replies and follows me.

“Harry stay.”

“I said no.”

He doesn’t listen and…

“Flo!” I hear my mother’s voice as soon as we are passed the woods.

“Mother?” I look up to the front porch of the cabin and see my mother, with the nuns behind her. She looks relieved to see me as well the others nuns, but when she spots Harry next to me, all she does is tilt her head and frown, crossing her arms against her chest.

“Oh shit.” Harry mutters.

“Uh-Huh” I scratch the back of my neck.