Animalistic | h.s

chapter ten

Bullying has become such a huge part of my life.

The bruises on my waist, the memories and the words that sting your ears, they are all so hard to forget about them - to vanish them. I am not used to it though, every attack startles me.

The words hurt more than the kicks and punches in my body - but nothing will hurt more than the look of my mother's face if I ever tell her about this. I try so hard on covering everything up, it's almost a sin. I have to bite my pillow for the sake of my mother.

The walk to the office wasn't that far, I found it close to where I was and it was probably because of the empty hallways. There was no chattering, no students around; it was just me and my squeaky sneakers. Every step that I took was a word that I missed from my history teacher.

"Ms. Kemyss," The counselor is the first one who sees me in the office; she is in her office next to the principal's. She turns the bag of crisps into a ball before throwing it to the trashcan next to the desk. "...again?"

"It never stops," I stay standing in the doorframe, not sure if I should take another step just to avoid spilling what's left of the egg on my face to the floor. She swallows and wipes the crumbs off the corner of her mouth with the top of her hand, while the other hand works on opening the cabinet. She takes out a paper towel, walking towards me. I accept it and wipe my face, "I was... I was wondering if I could see Mr. Robinson."

"Mr. Robinson is sick; it's been days since he last came to school." She sighs and I ignore the thought of the rumor of both of them having an affair, "Why did you need the coach? You don't take Physical Education with him anymore."

The Aussie teacher didn't come to school and he was the only one with the keys to the gym showers. I was not planning on taking a shower, but to wash my face at least. There is no soap in the restroom, just words written on the mirrors with lipstick, and chocolate - I think. I cringe and look at the paper towel that turn from white to yellow in seconds.

"Wanted to use the showers," I sigh, "I reek and I need to assist to class before nine."

"I'll excuse you, sit down. We need to talk."

Mrs. Thompson sits down in her desk and leans in as she watches me sit down for the many times I've sat here.

"Floella, I know I've tried to stay away from your business though it's my job to call your parents as soon as possible if the bullying goes on," She takes a deep breath, "but when are you planning this to stop? You decide it to stop, not them. You need to stand up for yourself or just go to your mother."

She gives me same old lecture and I find myself thinking about a certain someone with green eyes and wavy, brown hair. It's unbelievable that in a time like this, all that I'm thinking about it's about him. I wonder if he just going to leave me after I demanded him to. I hope he does, but deep inside of me says otherwise. Deep inside of me, I'm asking for him to appear somewhere right now.

*

"Class is dismissed," I close my book, ignoring the chat going on about me in front of me. I receive few glances from the girls as I walk past them to give the excuse to my history teacher. He puts his glasses on and takes the paper before I leave.

"Hey." I turn to look at Calum, gripping his schoolbag over his shoulder, "I'm sorry I left you without telling you, I got quite nervous."

I nod.

"I heard what happened to you. I know how you feel," he says.

"I don't feel anything." I lie and smile, "it happens usually and I had to experience something crueler than that."