Beyond The Walls // Attack On Titan

Fights | Jean Kirschtein

You sat in one of the boys' rooms, a medkit on your lap as you held on a piece of cotton with disinfectant. you were currently tending to your boyfriend, Jean, and his wounds. He got in another fight with Eren, luckily Captain Levi didn't catch them and give them punishments, like stable duty, cleaning duty, or laps.

"Ouch! that hurts, (Y/N)." Jean hisses, moving his head backwards as you grab it and pull it near you, dabbing the cotton again on his face.

"This wouldn't hurt so much if you didn't get into another fight with Eren, what was it this time?" you sigh out. "He kept on talking about how thanks to him we'll save humanity, like it's all his credit. Doesn't he realise how many sacrificed their lives to protect him and contribute to humanity?" Jean rants, you just chuckle as you start putting a bandage around his head.

You two sit there as he continues to rant on and on, not that it bothered you or anything. You hum and nod once and a while as you tend to his other wounds. "Does it still hurt?" you ask Jean, he pokes the bandage around his head where a gash was. "N- youch!" he cried out, you chuckled. "Don't touch it, dummy." you tell him, he pouts and crosses his arms. "C'mon, it's dinner time and I need to return this med kit to the infirmary." He sighs and gets up from his seat, draping an arm around your shoulder before kissing the side of your head.

"Thanks for always listening and taking care of me, (Y/N/N)." Jean smiles down at you, you smile back. "Of course, who else would take care of you?" you say, shrugging as you two make your way to the infirmary.

~~

"(Y/N)! Jean! we saved you guys a seat." Sasha waves, gesturing you to sit down and you do so, jean beside you. "Hey Sasha, did we miss anything?" you ask her, she shakes her head. "Nope, Mikasa just scolded Eren again for the fight him and Jean had." She says, with the 'p' popping out when she says 'nope'.

Jean mutters, "Well he started it first." under his breath. You nudge him with your elbow as you clear your throat, "Anyways, I'm assuming you two are okay now?" you glare at Jean then at Eren, they both nod quickly, afraid that you might yell at them if they said otherwise or started another argument. Smiling to yourself, you start eating your meal while Armin starts talking about a book he read.

"It really would be nice to see an ocean someday, you make it sound so beautiful Armin." you say, putting your chin on your hand, obviously in a daze thinking about a peaceful life outside the walls. "Sand fields, Lands of Ice, Burning water, don't these all sound so exciting? I can't wait to be able to see it all someday." Armin says while everyone else agrees.

"I just wanna raise as many cattle as possible to eat." Sasha says as she basically drools, Connie doing the same. "Seems like everyone has their dreams, huh?" Jean says, everyone then looks at him, snapping out of their fantasies, including you. "Don't you have dreams too, Jean?" you ask, he just sighs.

"I would rather not talk about it, plus I just do whatever at the given moment to survive. I had dreams of being in the Military Police and living in Wall Sina to have a peaceful life but we all know that it changed after the breach, and Marco-" he cut himself off, even just remembering his best friend's death haunted him until now. He really only did join the Survey Corps to avenge Marco, to live a life worth living. He couldn't bring to tell everyone that, after all, the only person he really opened up to was you.

You placed your hand on his shoulder, giving him an assuring smile, letting him know it's okay. Everyone at the table was silent, muttering apologies and trying to find ways to change the subject. Suddenly, Jean spoke up "Well, I guess trying to explore these foreign lands wouldn't be so bad. So why not? To seeing the ocean." He raised his cup up, everyone else at the table doing the same as they repeated, "To seeing the ocean!"

~~

The sound of a quill writing on paper was the only thing that echoed in your room, you were writing a letter to your parents to check up on them. You sighed, thinking of their safety. They didn't exactly approve of you joining the military, especially the Survey Corps. The thought of them losing their only daughter, their only child really shook them to the core. But after time they started to warm up to the idea and you sending letters to them every once and a while soothed their worries a little bit.

"You okay? You look so deep in thought." you hear a voice behind you, turning in your chair to see Jean leaning on the doorframe of your room. "I'm just writing a letter to my parents, I'm almost done." you say before turning back to your paper, quickly writing a few more sentences before setting down the quill and standing up, walking to Jean.

"Do you wanna talk about earlier?" you ask him, putting your hands on his chest. "About my dream?" he asks and you nod.

"Honestly, when we met back in the Cadet Corps, I thought that I could join the Military Police and you could join the Garrison. We could've gotten married, had kids, and have a safe life inside the walls. Marco could've been working alongside with me, all I ever wanted was a peaceful life with you and our friends and I know we can't have that." he sighs before continuing,

"I know we should just cherish every moment we have together and do our best to stay alive. I really love you, (Y/N)."

Hearing him say that broke your heart, you could feel the warm tears sliding down your cheek as you held back a sob. Jean's eyes widened, hugging you tightly and whispering, "Hey, it's gonna be okay, we're alive aren't we?" you bury your face in his chest while he strokes your back, you continue to cry and he tries his best to comfort you, telling you to take deep breaths and calm down.

"I'm scared, Jean. What if one day one of us just disappears? What if one day the unimaginable happens and we're gone? I don't want to lose you, we already lost Marco, Thomas and Mina! So many people, strong people have died. Reiner, Bertholdt, and Annie betrayed us. I almost lost you so many times!" you almost screamed it out, thank goodness there weren't any people outside your room so no one would hear you crying.

"Don't say that, everything will be okay. We're one step closer to saving humanity. After all of this, why don't we live a peaceful life together and start a family?" He says, gently lifting up your chin and wiping away your tears.

"I would love that." you manage a smile, laughing a little to yourself for having an outburst. "See, there's the smile I fell in love with." Jean grins and gives you a peck on the lips, saying goodnight as he walks to his room.