I pull out a minute later and i stay on top supporting myself with my elbows as i hold her lustful eyes in mine. She is very excited and still burning with desires.
"That was wild and very..." she starts to say still panting but i cut her with a light kiss turning us around so that she is lying on top of me, resting her head on my chest.
I have an arm crossed tightly around her waist and the other one on her upper back.
We are zero milimeters apart and our skins are tightly pressed aganist each other but i still crave for more contact, i want to pull her close, if there was some magic that can melt her skin into mine making us one, i would gladly use it.
You have no freaking idea just how much i want this girl to be mine. I desperately want her to forgive me and love me like i do her and you have no idea just how desperate i am for her love.
I am willing to do anything for her to forgive me. And just so you know, i am not giving up on Belle this time. I am going to put her first and I will protect her with everything i have and against everyone that's planing to hurt her.
That's what i should have done three years ago. I should have put her first, i should have protected her against Richard and everybody else, i should have treated her right. I did none of those and i ended up losing her but can't make the same mistake twice.
I can feel her heart beating wildly against my sweaty skin and her ruffled breathing makes me smile. She hasn't recovered from the mind shattering orgasm that i just gave her less than ten minutes ago and yet her eyes are raw with desire.
She still wants me and you have no idea how that makes me feel.
I am not yet done with her.
Her hair is a real mess. All tangled and dry grasses hanging everywhere. Anyone would easily tell that we just had sex in a glade.
Having sex in a forest has been a fantsy and i can't believe i had sex with a girl that i am so crazy about in the middle of a forest.
I doubt if the sex means anything to her like it does to me and i just hope she won't have any regrets whatsoever. She just needed a distraction, i guess i was an easy target. I don't feel bad or used, i feel happy if anything.
I just had the best sex of my life, who wouldn't want that again and again?
And i am ready to distract her every single time she needs me.
I spin us around grabbing my shirt in the process.
"What are you doing?" she asks when i pull her legs apart trying to wipe my come with the shirt.
"Trying to wipe you clean."
"With that?" she is refering to the shirt. And it somehow looks unhygienic.
"I am working with what i have, love." i say a small smile tugging on my lips.
"Give me that, i can handle myself perfectly." she tries to grab the shirt.
"I want to do it." i insist.
She takes a very long breath.
"I don't think you should do that, i mean, this was supposed to be just sex no affection or anything close to that." i am not surprised.
She wants casual sex but i want more. I am ready to commit to her.
"It can't be just casual sex between us, Bella." this attraction between us can't be just sex.
"There is nothing more." she is not convinced, I know we both want more than just sex.
_She still loves me._
"I know you can feel it...the undeniable chemistry between us." i say fondling her hair and she squirms on top of me.
"The last time i let my feelings blind me, i ended up very broken. Utterly." i can literally feel the pain in her voice.
"Smith didn't deserve you and i promise i am nothing like him." she laughs.
_Did i say anything funny? _
I am a jerk but i know Randal is worse, i don't know what happened between her and him but honestly i am glad that they broke up.
The sucker didn't even visit her when she got arrested and he didn't show up in court when they were giving verdict. He wasn't there for her when Belle needed her the most.
"I am not talking about him, i didn't love him but at times i wish i fell for him instead." she exhales furiously and i feel a pang of guilt surging through me when i realise she is talking about me.
I am the one she loved, i am the one who broke her, not Randal. I am the jerk that broke her heart.
"Belle, i am sorry. I was an asshole but that was three years ago. Let me show you how much i love you. I messed up big time and you have no idea how much i regret making the choices i made three years ago." I am searching her eyes hoping that she sees the sincerity in mine as i say every damn word because i mean it and i desperately want her to trust me.
"You broke my heart, Parker."And hearing her say that breaks mine apart completely.
"I won't hurt you again. I learnt my lessons and I will never hurt you in any way."
"It took you three years to figure that out and unfortunately it is too late. I learnt my lessons too." She tries to push me away but i hold her in place pushing her legs slightly apart.
I gently wipe her clean maintaining the eye contact all the damn time and for some reasons, it feels so intimate. I have never done that to Lily or any other girl before, Belle must be very special.
With others i just pull out and flop besides them, no cuddling after sex and no pillow talks or anything of the sort.
Sex has never felt so intimate before, pleasing a girl this way has never been my ultimate goal, it has always been about me and once i get satisfied i never bothered if the girl was sated or not.I never cared.
But with Belle, it is all about her. And for the first time, i was willing to take commands... doing everything at her pace. I gave her exactly what she needed, not want i wanted.
"I love you, Belle. More than you can imagine."she stares at me and no matter how hard she is trying to mask it, i can see her affection for me in her eyes.
"I wish things didn't have to be complicated between us, Lucas." she turns to face me. "We would have made a kickass couple." She is indirectly telling me that we can never be anything and i feel like someone is twisting a blade inside me.
She laughs lightly trying to lighten the mood and i just stand up sticking my hand to help her up. I am hurting.
"You will love the place that i am taking you, i used to go there when i lost my dad and..."
"Just take me home." i don't insist.
I stand there watching her strap her bra and i toss her my boxers since i ripped her panties.
"You are not getting dressed." It is more of an observation.
"Ooh," i throw my pants on before taking her hand to lead her back to the car.
"The dress?"
"We will take it on our way to the car." And with that we start walking through the thick forest to the car.
