FLASHBACK (Nineteen years ago)
"Mom can i go with you to the mall?" I ask my mother who is busy dolling her face up in front of the mirror.
I already know what her answer is, but i ask anyway. Today might be my lucky day...she might decide to tag me along.
She has been going to the mall daily ever since dad went for that business trip in London and i am tired of staying at home alone with Nanny almost every day.
Don't even ask about my brothers, i have assholes for brothers.
"Not today, love." She says without sparing me a glance.
I am not surprised, i kinda expected it. I will never understand why she never takes me with her, I mean, i am his youngest son and mothers are supposed to spoil their lastborns, right?
I always envy the closeness between my friend Alex and his mother. Gosh, you'd think they are best of friends. They play together, do homework together, and go shopping together. That's always so cute.
Then there is me and my mom. I don't even know what to call the 'ship between us.
Not friendship. We dont even have a relationship.
She doesn't love her kids, she doesn't even try. The only time we get to bond with her is when dad is around. Probably fourteen days in a month or less, dad is ever busy with work but mom is ever busy going to the mall and hanging out with friends.
"You promised you'd take me with you today."
But if there is something my mom has taught me in the past few years...is that promises can be broken.
"I am sorry, sweaty. But i promise i will go with you tomorrow." I laugh without humor.
Her tomorrow never comes.
"Never mind, i know you won't." I say walking away but she stops me.
"Come here, love." I hesitate before walking in her arms and she places me on her laps.
"I'll bring you toys." She has been buying me toys even before i was born. Is it weird that mom would rather spend money on us than being with us?
We stay in the same house but ironically she is an absentee mother.
"I have enough toys, don't even bother." She sulks in pretence and i roll my eyes at her.
The problem with my mother, she thinks everything can be settled with money or toys. I am not old enough like Lee otherwise she would have given me her credit cards.
"You know i love you, right?" I roll my eyes for the second time.
"You don't know what love is, mother." She swallows dryly pretending to be hurt but i know she is not.
"I love you, your siblings and your dad."
Like hell you do. I try to get off her but she holds me tight.
What is that supposed to mean?
"You don't even love dad," i have heard Lee and Jeremy debating this and i was convinced that mom is with dad for the money.
"I love your father so much."
_Aaw, that's so cute._ but i am not a fool.
"There is a difference between loving him and loving his money." I repeat what Lee told Jeremy and her mouth hangs open, literally.
"What makes you think that i don't love your father?" She asks squinting eyes at me curiously.
_Would you still love him if he was a broke ass?_ i want to ask her that but i end up saying something totally different.
