Little Things

Chapter 61

Songs of Inspiration:

Just Breathe - Anna Nalik

Kryptonite - 3 Doors Down

Adore You - Miley Cyrus

Half a Heart - One Direction

Allyson's POV

After watching the entire Macy's parade, much to Harry's excitement who thoroughly enjoyed each and every second of it, especially the Hello Kitty float, everyone gets into their pajamas to chill out for the rest of the night.

I throw on some of my winter snowflake pajama pants and a random sweatshirt, before heading back downstairs. The three Europeans have to go out to their vehicles to retrieve their suitcases to unpack before they do so, yet are still dressed before I am. I will never understand why boys take such less time than girls to change, even if I am in a rush. It's one of those things that I will never grasp.

Once I reach the kitchen downstairs, I turn on my coffee maker and then start to clean up, packing the leftovers away for ThanksGiving sandwiches tomorrow. One of my favorite meals apart from ThanksGiving dinner its self, is the leftovers the next day.

"Do you need any help?"

I turn to see Niall, who stands timid in front of me with his hands knitted together. He looks so vulnerable, like a paper cut could break him into too.

"Actually, that would be great," I tell him. We haven't had a normal conversation for hours, and that was an argument so I don't even know if it counts.

I just want everything to go back to normal, I want the warm hugs, the snuggles, the cheesy texts, the laughs until I get cramps in my sides, and the things that make me love this Irish boy.

Do I love him?

The thought seems so implausible, so far-fetched, yet at the same time it seems that any other way to describe my feelings for Niall is not enough.

But loving someone? To be in love? I always believed it was a childhood fantasy, something to exist in only Disney princess movies.

Which brings me to wonder if love is even real. I mean, aren't you supposed to love your parents? And all of your family, for that matter? But, I don't think I ever did, unless love is something you just say you feel, even though its a thought or idea that simply doesn't exist. Something made up to satisfy the human mind.

So what is love? It is something to just lie about, or is it really true? Are there people who are so completely in love with each other that they feel a bond between? Love is supposed to last forever, but that seems ludicrous.

Because someday, hopefully not soon, but someday, Niall will lose whatever lust he feels for me, even if this love that I wonder about exists and I feel it towards him. Because I know I am more invested into him than he ever will be for me.

He has a life, an extraordinary one for that. He will realize he can have anyone he wants. A super model, an actress, or maybe even another singer. He will realize that he is settling for someone so less when he can have so much more.

He will get sick of me, and all the boring features that come along. I can't give him money or nice gifts, I'm not that stick figure natural beauty faced girl that he could have.

I am barely living off of the small amounts of money I am scrounging up, I don't have a job, I am just an average looking girl with plain brown hair, plain brown eyes, and over all a plain person.

I don't have that special characteristic that people remember others with. I don't have that stunning attribute to me that guys swoon over just thinking of the girl, I'm not the girl who makes people cry with laughter, I don't have really any talents, and I can cook without burning, only sometimes.