Little Things

Chapter 52

"Jordan?" the name slips off my tongue, a name I haven't spoken of in the longest time.

"Hey, Allybug..." he tries to send a shy smile but my eyes are deceiving, I can't even believe he is in front of me. After all this time.

"Don't call me that," I snap.

"Why? Timmy and I always-"

"Don't you dare fucking mention Timmy to me. Not here, not now, not ever," I snarl. A few co-workers of his are standing off to the side, observing the scene. I can only imagine the crowd behind me.

Neither of us speak, but my eyes are fiery with flames burning holes in his soul, well, I like to think so.

My anger is boiling at the pit of my stomach and if he makes one more comment that pushes me farther, I am just explode.

"Can we talk...outside?" Jordan asks, his eyes frowning.

"Excuse me? You think I want to talk to you? No, no no no no," my anger starts to settle as panic overcomes it. My head starts to pound again, just when I thought my concussion was coming to a close. I glance around nervously and decide to just leave, and get away from this.

"I don't even want my coffee, I'm just gonna..." my words trail off, finishing it's sentence in the suffocating air around me.

I grab my purse off of the counter and speed walk towards the exit where I entered through only moments ago. I wish I never got off the phone with Niall, I wish I just never entered this place. Maybe if I just get my mind off of this, I can act like it never happened.

"Allyson!"

Is he an idiot?

"Wait, I need to explain myself,"

Yes. Yes he is.

"No, go away Jordan," I tell him, not turning around as I exit the fast food restaurant.

"Allyson Parker hold the fuck up!"

This time, I turn my body so fast to confront this...this...I can't even explain my hatred for this imbecile.

Yeah, I like that word.

"Are you serious? Are you seriously going to talk to me like this? What are you even going to say that will make up for anything? You were the reason Timmy enlisted! He had a future, but you took it away from him. He had a life in front of him, one that he dreamed of. You knew what he wanted to do, and you knew he could achieve it. But because of you, Timmy's dead! And you didn't even bother to go to his funeral," I don't even realize the tears streaming down my frigid cheeks, but I find myself not only crying, but laughing.

Why am I laughing? This isn't even funny. I think I'm going insane.

"Why are you laughing?" he tilts his head, stepping closer to me.

"I don't-I don't know. I don't know anything anymore," I choke out, the tears flooding and the witty giggles halting to a stop.

"Allyson, you know I loved Timmy. I didn't tell him to enlist, he wanted to. He..." Jordan stops his words and takes his focus off of me and onto the street roaring with traffic just a few feet away from the sidewalk we stand on.

"I just, I just want him back," I admit. And that's when I really lose it. I don't back away when Jordan wraps me in his arms as I sob into his t-shirt.

He rubs my back, and I want to let go because I still believe he is the reason for Timmy's death, but I need the comfort more than anything right now. And I will take what I can get.