It felt like the entire world had caved in on Lucifer as Chloe stared up at him cautiously, her eyes somber. His mouth gaped open and worried lines stretched across his forehead.
Three years? Really?
Of course, he couldn't be the best judge of this. It felt like it had been a few centuries for him.
Charlie's age should've been his first clue. He was merely an infant when Lucifer left and just yesterday the boy seemed old enough to start school.
Lucifer sounded panicked as he tried to catch his breath.
Chloe knew what the signs of a panic attack were and immediately backed away two steps, trying to calm herself down in order to help him. It wouldn't do either of them any good if they were both hysterical.
She steadied herself, cleared her throat, and blinked away any more tears that threatened to fall. "Lucifer," she began.
"What's wrong? Why are you upset?" She asked gently.
Lucifer breathed heavily and focused on her.
"Three years, Detective. I've been gone for three years!"
Yes, that was a long time. But he'd gone back to Hell after short jaunts to Earth before right? He'd told her so, back when she didn't believe his story. He seemed to think nothing of his lost time.
Chloe's forehead scrunched slightly in her confusion. "But, you've never seemed to care about how much time passed between Earth and Hell before? At least from what you and Maze have told me. And we both, um, we didn't think you were coming back. Why are you so upset now?" She repeated more firmly.
"Because," Lucifer said lowly, almost in a growl that made Chloe want to flinch. It took every nerve in her body not to. She didn't want to hurt him further.
"Because that's a long time in human years. When I decided to come back, I told myself that I didn't want to know if it had only been a few days or several decades since I left!" His voice became softer as he finished, "I didn't want to know if I'd lost you."
Chloe's face softened and she took three daring steps closer to her partner. She would stop if it seemed like he didn't want her in his space, but he didn't protest, so she continued to move in.
It dawned on Chloe that "lost" could mean a few things. Maybe he worried that she had moved on from him. Maybe - and this made her heart sink even more - maybe he thought he had been gone so long that she had already lived her life and was forever beyond his reach.
Her hands slowly raised to find his hands. He looked down at them as their fingers twitched at the light contact. Chloe increased her hold on them and began to rub circles on the back of his knuckles with her thumbs.
"You didn't lose me, and we can talk about this later." She calmly assured him. "If it will make you feel better, I can fill you in on everything that's been happening around here. And, if you want, we can go see some of our friends?" She suggested with a shrug.
Lucifer's breathing finally began to slow as she spoke, coming back to a normal rhythm. Then his shoulders hunched and he hung his head.
"In all honesty Detective, I would love nothing more, but-" He paused to take a breath, squeezing his eyes shut.
"But what?" Chloe whispered.
"I don't want to hurt you all again...hurt you." He explained painfully.
Chloe understood so she didn't push. This seemed like a moment she should suggest that he go see Linda, but she could see why doing that could potentially be painful for their friends. Chloe knew that Linda wouldn't break doctor-patient confidentiality and tell people that Lucifer was back if he didn't want it made known. However, Linda and Lucifer were friends on top of their professional relationship, so there was bound to be emotional pain involved.
YOU ARE READING
The Beginning of the End
Fanfiction"Hey," She began quietly, much like how she greeted him in the penthouse several times when he hadn't known she was coming over. "Look, I promise that I'm trying to be okay with you leaving. I know why you had to do it. It was so brave, and I knew i...
