𝐔𝐍𝐅𝐈𝐋𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐄𝐃

15 | fire with fire

"You're not gonna get what you want if you continue acting like a brat sweetheart." Jungkook says darkly and with a slight movement he lowers my head down and I'm forced to bend down on the bed. "Now suck my cock so that we both get what we want."

I don't like how he wants to assert dominance towards me and I'm not one to cave in without a fight. It takes a lot more than his authoritative tone and his demanding attitude to make me do what he wants. I want-no I need to be the one in control during sex and he knows that. He understands that there was a time in my life when I've been stripped of control and I was forced to obey another man's commands for a long time. He knows exactly what I've been through, because he has been there during those times.

However, this sweet battle of dominance is part of the fun. A little duel between just the two of us to see who will surrender. He enjoys it as much as I do even though there is no actual winner. We will both eventually get our turn to dominate the other. What matters is who will cave in first.

My hands snake up to grab his and slowly release myself from his hold. "No," I say firmly.

His dark brown orbs slice through mine. "Care to repeat that?"

He wants me to suck his dick, but I want him to cum inside me. A moment ago when I was on my knees, I was going to give him what he wanted, but he changed his mind, because he realised that I was in control just then. And now the circle repeats and we're getting nowhere because we're both headstrong, angry and stubborn. I could easily give him exactly what he wants and that way we're both going to be physically satisfied in the end, but I know that deep inside I won't have the release that I need.

I need to be in charge. It almost sounds desperate and stupid but that is the only way I can prove myself that I'm not just some small kid.

Stupid kid.

Dumb slut.

And of course Jungkook has his needs and I get that it's in his nature to want to dominate his partner. He isn't obligated to fulfill my request or anything because I don't belong to him. We aren't boyfriend and girlfriend. We don't belong to each other. I'd like to think that we're friends in some kind of way, although we hang out at situations such as this where one of us feels like total shit and wants to break in a million pieces, as we search for this temporary medicine that will help numb that feeling. Sex is the perfect medicine for me and him. It's the way we express our pain, all of our complaints, everything that is holding us back, that prevents us from saying what is on our minds. Sex is liberating. Sex is fulfilling. Sex is everything we want to say out loud yet we express it in a physical, almost animalistic kind of way.

If I were in the right state of mind right now, I would be totally repulsed with myself for solving my problems with sex, but it's the sensation I'm looking for. Even if it is for a few seconds, I just want to feel whole again. Safe, protected, tranquil. I want to hide away at a sanctuary where my fears and demons will slowly melt away and I will choose when to go back out in the real world.

I want closure.

And if Jungkook doesn't give it to me, I'll take it.

"No," I repeat, a sly smirk creeping on my lips when his eyes turn black. He lowers down and his arms circle around my legs and he drags me down. I fall down on the mattress, my hands dangling on the sides of the bed. Jungkook begins nipping on the skin of my inner thighs and I suck in a breath, my hands feeling for his jeans on the floor. When I finally grip the waistband, I start removing the belt as I'm trying my best not to squirm with his damn tongue that licks his way up to my entrance.