𝐔𝐍𝐅𝐈𝐋𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐄𝐃

20 | damage

Evelyn

It's been less than a week ever since Jimin moved out and I still haven't grown fully accustomed to his absence. Waking up seems slightly more tolerable as I spend less and less time staring at the empty bed space next to me and I don't expect warm welcoming arms to wrap around my waist while I brush my teeth in the bathroom, nor do I anticipate having his mouth-watering Saturday pancakes tomorrow morning.

I don't expect anything anymore.

I just want to stop thinking about him.

But the soft Nirvana T-shirt that he's forgotten in our once shared closet is now wrapped around my body, with the remains of his woodsy scent encompassing me and for a fleeting moment it feels as though he's physically here.

The little fantasy that has been dancing aro in my mind, unfortunately is short lived. When I turn to my side, I'm facing an empty wall and just like that I'm back to being downhearted.

If there's one good thing that came out of this breakup, is that I'm becoming more productive and active every day. When it concerns my studies, I use my assignments and my projects as an excuse to keep my brain busy in order to prevent myself reminiscing all things Jimin. I even found a new job at a café called Jerry's near the university and to my surprise it pays well enough that I don't have to move out of the apartment since Jimin no longer lives here to help with the rent. Moving out was one of my biggest concerns because I didn't want to have to go back to living at the university dorms nor did I want to go through the hassle of packing and organizing all of my things before leaving.

However, once I'm finally catching my breath, I need to face the cold reality of being all alone in an empty apartment. And there's nothing more I loathe than that.

I mean, doesn't everybody hate being alone?

I'm currently just sitting on the couch watching 'Community' on Netflix with a pillow tucked in my grip and once the episode comes to an end, I decide to get up and head back into my room to change into something more comfortable, since I don't have any plans with friends tonight. I open my closet and take out a pair of lemon colored satin pajamas then stare at the other empty half of the space that used to be occupied by Jimin's stuff. That's when I notice a black waterproof case leaned against the wall with the word 'Senso' written on it in that means war in Japanese.

I pick it up from the floor and unzip the top part of the case until the tsuka, aka the grip and the guard are revealed. Jimin had told me that when he was little, he had practiced kendo for approximately fourteen years, but then he quit because he had an injury on his lower back followed by intense pains on his right elbow that led to limited movement. It was one of his biggest passions growing up and I remember how he told me that he cried for two days when he realized that he couldn't continue pursuing it without jeopardizing his health.

I'm tempted to keep this, but I know that I shouldn't because his kendo sword is something that he treasures to this day and it would cause him serious distress if he realizes that it's gone. Besides, I am no longer worthy of keeping the last remnants of his childhood.

I zip up the shinai back into its case and cast it aside on my bed before grabbing my cell from my nightstand and I begin texting him.

Evelyn Price: Hi Jimin, I hope you've been doing well...I just want to tell you that you forgot to take your shinai with you. Mind telling me your address so that I can drop it off?

I hit send and I check my phone after a few minutes only to see that he's left me on read.

That's cold.