𝐔𝐍𝐅𝐈𝐋𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐄𝐃

33 | a price

Evelyn

Today has been a pretty busy day in the yoga studio and my body is ready to collapse once I reach the comfort of my car. I had two hours' worth of lessons today with some college students and an extra two hours with some older women and men who only invest in the practice as a hobby, or a way to show off to their rich companions that they too take part in spiritual activities. I enjoy working with people, even though it's so easy to see through their motives.

My feet are aching from all the action that took place today and my skin is sweaty. I can taste the salt on my lips it's utterly disgusting; all I want to do is jump into the shower and then finish writing my paper that is due for next week, since my schedule is going to be packed the upcoming days. After that my head will hit the pillows and from then on, its lights out for me.

As I collect my things in the studio, I take out a bottle of water when a couple of female friends walk past me, waving me goodbye and uttering their thanks for today's session. Once everybody is gone, I pop the bottle open and gulp down the last bit of water and groan displeased as soon as I down the whole thing. I zip up my bag and fish out my phone and car keys then head out the studio, leaving it to the custodians to lock up.

My cell' screen lights up a selfie that Jimin secretly snapped with my phone when he thought I wasn't looking and my heart immediately warms up to his smile as the corners of my lips are working to match the same gleeful expression on his lips.

While pacing towards the parking lot at the back, I scroll through my messages only to see that a bunch of friends from my class are going clubbing tonight and they're going on and on for hours, making plans without me. Nobody cares and none of those petty girls had the human courtesy to ask if I'm interested in joining them, which is why I mute the group chat altogether. And as much as I hate to admit it, it saddens me that nobody is going through the slightest of trouble to make me feel included. Not that I have anything in common with those girls, but I guess it would be nice to be a part of a group. At least that way, I wouldn't be alone all the time.

It would be nice to at least have one friend.

Unfortunately, the one and only friend I had, who frankly also happened to be my soulmate, wants absolutely nothing to do with me and that's a whole other kind of hurt that I really don't want to get into.

It's funny how in abusive relationships there's always this pattern. It's almost always the same, depending of course on the situation and the circumstance. Like how the abusive partner is always the one who's demanding the victim's attention, demanding their respect as if they have the right to be within sniffing distance with them. The abuser will stop at nothing to prey at his victim, showering them with worthless gifts, giving them fragments of sweetness and attention that are merely a façade; a mask they're only wearing to lure their partner in, as in to convince them that they're perfect for them.

But then when shit hits the fan, if the abuser is smart, they will keep their composure. They will approach the situation with caution in order to not frighten their partner further. Of course, they don't want to startle them any longer, but sometimes fear proves to be a far more effective method. Sometimes, all you need is some chills and a little bit of fright to put someone in the exact headspace you want them to be. It's like locking them inside of a room and then all of a sudden, you're making them feel at home. The person outside of that door, is feeding them lies, telling them exactly what they want to hear. When their partner lets out his first cry of help, the abuser first instinct is to panic.

Because they know that the victim can see through their shit.

And they sure as hell know that they don't want to stay.