𝐔𝐍𝐅𝐈𝐋𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐄𝐃

epilogue | home

Nox

The day I was dreading for a week has finally arrived.

Jimin is leaving for Seattle.

We've said our goodbyes last night and we even had a little farewell party for him, by inviting everyone over. It was a busy night considering I had to cook for everyone, but with Jimin giving me a hand in the kitchen, it only aggravated me further because the man can't cook anything other than pancakes and he was stressing me further.

I kicked him out of my kitchen eventually and proceeded making our meal by myself. At this point, I wondered why the hell did I even agree to send this man away from me when he'll only live off pancakes and instant ramen?

His pancakes, I must say, are the best ones I've ever had and it only proves that practice indeed makes perfect. They're better than the ones I make, but there's no way I'll ever admit that to his face. I like how his face forms an adorable pout each time I come up with something for him to improve on and then he'll only make them just the way I like them the following day.

When he'll be gone, I won't be having his delicious pancakes for months.

Jimin will be taking the early train which is why he'll wake up two hours earlier in order to get there. He woke up around 6am, kissed me good morning while I was still drowsy then gave me a hug before proceeding to cover me up. I heard the front door of my apartment close shortly after and I groan to myself thinking that he didn't even eat breakfast. I had told him the night before to eat something before he leaves, but he completely ignored me.

I even offered to drive him to the train station, but he insisted I should just stay home and rest after yesterday's party.

Now it's my turn to ignore him.

While cooking yesterday's dishes, I had saved a box of triangle kimbap in a container just in case he brushed me off.

I put on some fresh clothes and minimal makeup then bolt out the door with my purse in hand. I get in my car and drive like a madwoman to the train station. It's half past six and it takes quite a while to get to Portland Union Station from Sunleth, but luckily, I know a shortcut that gets me there just ten minutes earlier than the designated time despite how much of a bitch traffic was.

I park my car at the first spot I find available, then rush out of there and hurry to the station. I'm panting and sweating all over the place, but I don't stop until I enter the station and rush to the waiting lounge. To my surprise there aren't that many people for the early train which only makes the search for my precious boyfriend easier.

I immediately spot him sitting all alone at one of the back rows close to the vending machine. He doesn't see me right away and I notice a newspaper sitting on his lap. His glasses are balanced on the bridge of his nose, and I smile at how his brows furrow as he tries to figure out the next word on his crossword puzzle.

I walk stealthily toward him and yet he still doesn't sense my approach. He's so immersed in trying to figure out this word on his puzzle that it tugs on the strings of my curiosity.

7. Expression used to describe a period of calm, usually in the past _______ days.

"Halcyon Days." I say under my breath, and it is only then that he finally acknowledges my presence.

Jimin turns around and for a moment there he stares at me dumbfounded, but when a giggle escapes my mouth, he tosses the paper away and pulls me close to him. He wraps his arms around me in a warm embrace, one that I'll never get tired of feeling and I run my hands through his hair. He breaks out in a happy laugh before kissing me, pouring out all the love and affection he feels into my core.

"What are you doing here?" He asks giddily. "You have work later."

"Good thing I'm self-employed, so I can reschedule." I wink at him then give him a peck on the cheek as I hand him the container.

"What's this?" He opens the box, and his eyes widen to the size of plates at the sight of the mouthwatering kimbap.

"I knew you'd leave without eating anything and I didn't want you to get hungry on your way to Seattle." I say, running my finger over his collarbone. "And besides, I wanted you to think of me while you're on the train."

"You're incredible." He grins. "I wasn't hungry that early in the morning, but now that you brought me this, I'll probably inhale it as soon as I sit down. Thank you."

"I love you." I say, my voice shaky. Dear God, I can feel the first tears coming. Maybe Jimin was right for not wanting me to drive him. I'd probably tear up while driving and pull over for a quick cry and he'd end up being late for his departure.

Jimin seems to sense my discomfort and he tips my chin up.

"Nox, are you okay baby?"

"Yeah," I rasp, turning away from him.

"Liar. I love you too." He presses his forehead against mine and just like that I crumble in pieces, despite having promised to myself I'd stay strong. "I love you more than anything in the world. It will be hard to stay away from you. Least you have Yoongi and Ryan, Dylan, Cass and Joon to keep you company during my absence." He pats my head soothingly as I cry on his shoulder. "And remember, I'm always with you even from three hours away baby. No matter what I love you and support you." His words hit a sensitive nerve in me and it only triggers more tears as he continues, "Just focus on getting better without thinking too much about me being away. On second thought, think of me every once in a while, okay?"

"I d-don't want you to go, but I need you to go." I say and grab the collar of his shirt. "So do your best out there."

"You too."

He plants a kiss on my head and that's when the conductor announces his train coming on his designated platform.

"Fuck," he whispers. "Look, it will be hard, but we can work it out." I eagerly nod and tighten my grip around his hand as he proceeds, "I'll come back to Sunleth on days off and we can Facetime every day. I'll be back in no time."

"Okay," I try my best to smile.

"I love you." He says.

His eyes fall on the small crowd that heads to the platform, but instead of cutting it off short, he cups my face and pulls me close for another kiss. I don't know what it is about him that when I'm in a moment of despair he just knows all the right things to say to make me feel better and then when he presses his lips against mine, he simply breathes life into me.

My heart hammers against my chest to the sound of the second announcement.

"I love you," he repeats like a mantra. "I love you so much, I'll miss you like hell."

All I can do is cherish the last few seconds we have, the warmth of his skin against my cheek, the softness of his lips against mine. The vibrance of his very fucking soul, radiating light into the depths of my demented one.

"I'll miss you too."

"I don't want to go. I don't want to leave you." He hugs me tight to the point I'm out of breath. "God, this fucking hurts."

"You're not leaving me."

"You know, I told myself I'd be strong. I wouldn't make a fuss about leaving and that's why I didn't want you to drive me here. I didn't think about it at much, or in actuality, I didn't allow myself to think about how fucking hard it would be to stay away from you and everyone, but now seeing you here just reminds me what I'll be missing." His voice is shaky, but he kisses me again before saying, "Seeing you here when I asked you not to come just reminds me what I'll be coming home to and that it will all be fucking worth it in the end."

With the third announcement, I break out in cold sweat. My body has never experienced this simultaneous combination of hot and cold.

"You have to go. You can't miss your train."

"Tell me you'll be waiting at home for me. I just need to hear you say it baby." He breathes.

Another tear spills down my cheek, but he wipes it away with his finger.

"I'll be at home waiting for you."