Wait (Lashton)

34

Luke is at school and needless to say, no one gave him weird or surprised looks. He's glad no one knows what happened besides those who were there and Calum. He wouldn't have handled all those eyes on him well. But he still had that constant feeling that someone was watching him, he still felt the need to look over his shoulder. I guess he hasn't gotten used to the fact that Big X is gone. For good.

"Good morning!" Calum exclaimed behind Luke who jumped and squealed. "Sorry. Should've figured you're still shaken up, but I'm just really happy you're back here with me." He smiled and gave him a hug. "I know, believe me. There's only so many days I can spend with Ashton." He joked.

"Hey. What's wrong with me." He playfully pouted as him and Michael came walking from behind them. "Oh hush. You know I'm just playing." Luke laughed as they went to class. "I'd hope so."

The day for Luke was relatively quiet and went very smoothly, the only people who really talked to him were his teachers and they only said "I hope you're well".

By the time lunch came around, they decided to go off campus to get food. Something special for Luke. As they were driving, he swears he saw Big X, but his eyes were playing tricks on him because he'a dead. "Luke? You okay?" Ashton asked taking a glance at him from the drivers seat. "Yeah, I thought I saw someone. I'm fine."

"I'm thinking of having a party Friday. You guys would come right?" Michael asked. "You know I would Mike." Calum spoke. Ashton looked at Luke before speaking. "Yeah, I'll think about it."

"Ashton, you can go if you want. Don't let me hold you back on having fun." He reassured. "It's no fun if you're not there." Luke slightly chuckled,"Okay, I'll think about it."

-

Michael wanted to throw this party as a way to let Luke have fun. He's been having a hard time recently with everything going on and Michael felt like he needed to let loose for a bit. Even if it was for one night.

"Pleeeeeeease." Ashton begged as he gave Luke a small pout. "Okay okay fine. I'll go to the party with you." Luke laughed as he laid on Ashton's bed at his apartment. "Why don't you like parties?" He asked laying next to him.

"They never really got my interest if I'm being honest. What's so fun about getting drunk and not even remembering what you did to have fun. I'd rather stay at home and be productive like doing homework. Something that'll actually benefit me in the future." He explained while Ashton jokingly fake snored. Luke laughed as he hit him,"Be quiet. I'm serious."

"You're so boring. If you do that your whole life, you're gonna wish you had more fun. Watch."

"And I'm perfectly fine with that. Hasn't hit me yet Ash." He laughed some more. "Hey can you grab the remote?" Ashton asked while pointing in the direction of it. "Lazy."

As Luke got up, Ashton used it as a perfect opportunity to give his ass a little pat. "Hey." He exclaimed which made Ashton laugh. "Sorry, I can't help it." Luke rolled his eyes as he handed the remote to him. "Oh, I don't need it."

"So you're telling me, you made me get up, just so you can do that?" He nodded with a smug smile. "You're ridiculous." Luke laughed as he threw the remote at him. "But you love me." Ashton smiled as he pulled Luke on top of him. "I do." Luke smiled as well straddling Ashton on both sides.

Soon Ashton's hands made their way to Luke's ass giving it a tight squeeze then their lips smashed together both eager, both wanting the same thing. Luke started to feel Ashton's hard on against his which made him only rub harder loving the satisfaction it gave Ash as he moaned with his head tilted back.

In a swift, yet careful motion Ashton turned them over so he was in control now. "Take your shirt off baby." He instructed as he did the same. He continued kissing Luke with his lips exploring every inch of his body, but making sure they left it's mark.

Luke started taking off his bottoms as Ashton copied and it left them both in their boxers. Soon enough, they came off too. "I love you so much Luke."

"I love you too Ash." He smiled. Ashton started to align himself up gently, but as he did, Luke got horrible flashbacks from Shawn. "Stop. Wait please. Stop." He rose his voice. "Did I do something wrong?" Ashton asked. Luke shook his head as he scrambled to put his clothes back on,"I-I thought I was ready. I felt ready, but then I started remembering Shawn. And I-I couldn't. I-I'm sorry Ashton. I-I don't know what came over me, I was ready. Or I-I thought I was. I'm s-sorry." Luke apologized frantically on the verge of tears.

After putting his clothes back on, Ashton sat next to him grabbing his hand reassuringly. "I wanted to Ash. I did. I do. But I don't know why that happened. It's been a while since it happened and I don't know why it's still affecting me. Us. I don't want it too. It shouldn't even be a problem and I haven't even thought about Shawn for so long, I'm sorry it happened. I'm sorry, I know you wanted to do it too."

Ashton did want to do it, only because Luke wanted to. However, he still had a good time regardless of what they did.

"Look, I am not like Shawn okay? I won't make you do anything you don't want to. And I'm not gonna rush you, whenever you're ready then we'll do it. Sex isn't something to keep a relationship steady. It's just a bonus. So don't feel bad for not wanting to because I did. You won't make me feel bad. Cause I don't know about you, but I still had a pretty good time anyways." Ashton nudged Luke at the last part to lighten to mood. Luke laughed lightly. "Thank you."

"Can I stay for the night? I think my dad is staying with David." He asked. "Yeah of course." Ashton smiled. "Okay thanks. I'm gonna go shower." Luke spoke as he got up. He didn't even have to turn around to know the face Ashton was making behind him. "Stop making that face and come join." He laughed.

Ashton was only really concerned about Luke's back. He figured he'd wait a week, 2 the most for it to heal, until Luke could wash it on his own. Yes he might be babying him a little or a lot, but he does it to make himself feel better because everyday he feels so much guilt for what happened. So the least he could do is help him even if it's something small like this.

Luke's been trying really hard to get comfortable with his back, he didn't want to argue with showering with Ashton then he's going to worry and he'll say comforting words that aren't true, so he tried his best to discreetly have his back away from him throughout the shower, but when Ashton asked him to turn around so he could wash it, he felt anxious.

However, Ashton never thought his back was ugly, never has and never will, but he still asks him if he's okay once in a while. More times than not.

When they were getting dressed, Luke had his back away from as nonchalant as possible. He may be overreacting, but it doesn't feel like he is. Maybe he's being anxious about it or being over dramatic, but he feels insecure after seeing his back that one day. He's been cautious of anyone seeing it every since.

Ashton laid on his bed waiting for Luke who went looking for another shirt because he said that the one he was wearing was bugging his back. "Here I'll help." Ashton spoke as he went to lift his shirt. "It's okay Ash. I got it." Luke spoke with more of a serious and direct tone in his voice which worried Ashton, but Luke played it off with a smile.

"You okay?" He asked. "Yeah, why wouldn't I be?" Ashton wasn't sure if he wanted to believe that statement, but without anything to back it up he let it go. "Are you sure? You've been acting kinda weird lately which I totally understand, but I know somethings bothering you and you not coming to me sort of worries me."

Luke sighed,"It's just my back. I-I saw it with my own eyes in the mirror and I hate it so much. It's so ugly and I get insecure when you look at it and I-I know I shouldn't because you'd never judge me like that, but I just get anxious when you do. And I know everyone will just tell me otherwise to cheer me up but I know it's not the truth." Ashton frowned lightly,"It's alright to feel that way, you just need to get used to it that's all. And it's not ugly, not to me and it shouldn't be to you Luke. And I'm not just saying that to make you feel better, it's the truth." He assured. "If you weren't my boyfriend would you still say that?"

"Of course, if I wasn't your boyfriend I'd never think any less of you." Ashton assured giving him a small temple kiss. "Don't forget that."