Sam and Colby: The Asylum

Chapter 39

Jake opened the door and walked in, shining his light.

"Oh, man," he said. We all walked in after him, everyone dropping hands. We spread out throughout the big room. The guys wandered over to the dusty medical posters and papers and diagrams plastered around the walls, but I walked straight to the middle of the room.

There was an old, rusted medical operating chair in the middle of the room. It was like a dentist chair made out of straight, rigid pieces of metal. It had a rusty wheel on the side that was used to lower and raise the chair. There was an old-fashioned mobile light next to it with an adjustable neck to lean down over patients to see better. Next to the light and chair was a small raised tray with wheels on the bottom. I looked down at the metal tray and saw little metal containers, holders, and glass jars. I took a deep breath before shining the light onto the tray.

I screamed.

"What? What's wrong? Are you okay?" Colby asked running over. I pointed at the tray, which I had somehow ended up several feet away from. Sam and Jake leaned over it, and Jake reeled back while Sam put his hand over his mouth.

"Ew! What the fuck!" said Jake.

"I'm not even going to look," said Corey. Colby stepped away from me for a minute to look down into the tray.

"Oh my fucking—are those someone's teeth?" asked Colby. I laughed out of nervousness. That was what he found the most concerning?

"Yeah, Colby. Those are teeth. And what's in the jar next to it?" I asked. Jake walked back over to look at the tray again.

"I don't...they kind of look... no, that's too fucking gross. They didn't do that, did they?" asked Jake.

"I didn't know they did but how else would those be there," I said. Corey broke down and decided to look.

"Okay Sam, here's what's going to happen. I'm going to try to keep my shit together, and you're going to film me making a hilarious tour of whatever the fuck is on that tray, and then I am leaving this room," Corey said.

"Corey, I don't think you want to look," I said.

"Of course I don't want to fucking look. But I'm going to. Are you ready, Sam?" Corey asked.

"Yeah, man," Sam said, pointing the camera to the tray.

"Okay," Corey sighed, he shook all of his limbs out like he was getting ready to do a flip or something. He looked up at the camera.

"What up, guys? Welcome back to MTV's Creepy Crib tours. Today, we'll be looking at something on this rusty metal tray over here in an abandoned insane asylum operating room. Very fun, very clean, very family friendly," Corey said. How was he so good at that? And how was he so funny? He walked up to the tray. He didn't look down at it, just pulled his hoodie sleeves over his hands so he wouldn't touch anything and picked up the first jar.

"Alright, in this jar, we've got...oh my lord, we've got teeth. We've got human teeth. That are no longer in human mouths. Great. Okay. Next," he said. I almost wanted to applaud this guy. He was damn good at putting on a show for the camera.

"Oh! Oh boy! Are these... yes! They are! Love this! Doesn't make me want to throw up at all. Nope, no it does not. This is, uh, fingernails? Like, whole ass fingernails. That were taken off of people's fingers. Nice. Fantastic. Very aesthetic," he set that jar back down, then picked up a container instead of a jar.

"Alrighty, in here we have some surgeon's silverware. I'm kidding, kids. That was a joke. Do not eat with a scalpel. Anyway, this here is... what is this? It's a pointy thing. Nice. Pointy thingy here, then we've got, oh, yup. A scalpel. Very nice. Next container, we've got some...oh boy! Some needles! If anyone wants to do any sewing on this trip, this is where you should get your supplies. And it looks like among these needles are two syringes! Nice! This one right here still has some brown liquid in it. Neato. It's apple juice, I've decided. Next, let's look at this little jar here. Let's just pick this bad boy up, and, oh it's leaking a little bit, that's cool, that's fine, that's no biggie, it's all good. Let's see what's in this. It is silver, it looks like, and the bottle says hoe...hug...hor... ah! It's hogweed,"

"Ho—DROP IT! Corey, drop it right now! Don't fucking touch that! Did it get on your skin? Take off your hoodie right now! Don't let it touch you! Not a single fucking drop!" I screamed, running over to Corey. "Take your fucking hoodie off right now," I said, kicking the tray to the other side of the room. Corey immediately started to take it off, not letting any part of his body touch that sleeve.