Sam and Colby: The Asylum

Chapter 27

"You butt," I said, still clinging to his back.

"Yup," he said, reaching behind him and grabbing my legs to give me a piggyback ride.

"Did one of you grab my purse?" I asked, turning around to Corey and Jake.

"Yes. Who's the mom now, Mom?" asked Corey.

"Me, because you just called me Mom," I pointed out.

"Colby, your friend is a bully," Corey whined, crossing his arms.

"She's your mom, not my friend," Colby said, not even turning around.

"Aw, we're not friends?" I asked.

"Nope," he said.

"Why not," I said. He jumped up with me on his back and I let out a short scream.

"Because friends do not kiss friends on an airplane while Alec is giving his speech," Colby said quietly.

"What if Alec wasn't the one giving the speech? Or Alec's speech was over? Or if Alec wasn't giving his speech on an airplane?" I asked.

"Let's play the quiet game," Colby said.

"Bet," I said. I was totally going to win. We walked the rest of the way to the baggage claim, and Colby and I stood there in silence. I saw my suitcase first, and walked over to grab it. I wheeled it back over to the guys and we waited until Colby finally got his duffle bag, several minutes after the rest of us had gotten our suitcases.

"Okay, so the car rental place is just a ten minute walk from here, and then it's a forty-five minute drive," Sam said.

"Sounds Gucci," said Jake. I really wanted to say that Gucci doesn't make a sound, but I was not going to lose this game. But I could try to make Colby lose. I walked up super close behind him and started stepping on the back of his shoes every step he took, and they quickly slipped off of his heels. He whipped around, but didn't say anything. I smiled at him and ran up next to Sam while he quickly fixed his shoes and caught back up with us.

"Do you think iguanas can swim?" asked Jake. I turned around and nodded, then held my thumb up. "You think they can or you know they can?" he asked. I held up two fingers, trying to say that the second part was right.

"She knows," said Jake, looking at Corey.

"No, she's counting to five in Roman numerals with her hands, you idiot," Corey said. I shook my head. These guys were great. We kept walking, and Sam was so distracted by the map that I held out my purse to him and he absentmindedly took it, pulling it onto his own shoulder. I clapped my hand over my mouth to not laugh, then turned around and held up a finger to the other guys, telling them to be quiet, and pointed at it. They all smiled and kept their mouths shut, trying not to audibly laugh.

A couple yards later, Colby ran up behind me and jumped onto my back like I had done to him earlier. Clearly expecting to just land back on the ground, I decided to surprise him. I immediately let go of my suitcase and quickly caught his legs, then struggled to give him a piggyback ride for the next minute.

"Have they not been talking?" asked Jake. Corey laughed.

"No, dude. For like, fifteen minutes," Corey said.

"Oh," Jake said. Corey kept laughing for a while. I dropped Colby down after we walked through the doors leading to the outside of the airport. I turned around and smiled at Corey, thanking him for grabbing my suitcase.

"Of course, Mother," Corey said, bowing to me after gently wheeling it over to me.

"Here's your shit, bucko," Jake said, tossing Colby his duffle bag, who almost didn't catch it. I shook my head at Colby, who rolled his eyes in return.

We walked to the car rental place, where Sam handled all of the important things while Corey tried to teach Jake how to throw up and then catch the woah. It was a very simple concept. Jake could not figure it out.

"Dude! It's not that hard! Colby!" Corey said, pretending to toss something up. Colby looked up for a second, as if waiting for it to come down, but before he could catch it I ran over and bumped him out of the way, catching it instead of him.

"Mom! How do you know how to do that!" exclaimed Jake.

"More importantly, why is Colby just letting her walk all over him like that? Come on, brother. Step your game up. You are strong like a lion and swift like a... like a water snake," Corey said.

"And you have a hard shell like Lionel. Since he's a lobster," said Jake. It was so, incredibly hard to not laugh at anything they said, but Colby and I managed.

"Alright guys, we got a car with an extra row of seats so no one has to be squished in the middle of anyone else," Sam said, walking back over to us.

"No mom sandwich?" asked Jake.

"No," said Sam.

"Good thing I'm vegan," said Corey.

"You are not vegan. You ate chicken nuggets last night," Sam said.

"I was taught that I can be whatever I want to be, Sam. And I want to be a vegan," Corey said.

"So you don't want any ice cream later?" asked Sam.

"Vegans can eat ice cream," Jake said.

"No, Jake. They can't," Sam said. He laughed to himself and then shook his head. "Come on, guys," Sam said, leading us through the rows of cars. He led us up to a black Cadillac Escalade.

"What! This is so nice!" said Jake. I was glad he'd said it, so I didn't have to.

"Yup. Hertz is sponsoring this series, remember?" Sam asked.

"No. I don't remember," said Jake.