Love Birds (Erkenci Kus) - Not just your average love story ❤️Canem Forever ❤️

Episode 38 We live our love: Let's talk about marriage

While Can and Sanem help plan Emre and Layla's wedding, they are learning more and more about each other's expectations about their own impending marriage, and it's becoming an eye-opening experience for the two of them. From how to spend their honeymoon to when to start having babies, all their differences are starting to come out one by one and needless to say, they're getting a bit worried. But differences don't have to mean there's a problem. After all, it was because they were so different that attracted them to each other in the first place.

There is no doubt that Can and Sanem are physically, emotionally and spiritually meant to be together. Their chemistry is undeniable. They both want and need to be together forever. But "together forever" in their world means marriage...making their relationship public, official, and permanent...a union intended to last until death. In most cultures, marriage is highly regarded and respected as one of the most important institutions as it is the foundation of family. Depending on where you come from though, the seriousness and importance of marital values varies.  Generally in Turkey, marriage is considered very important and is enforced by both traditional and social values. With low divorce rates, it is evident that when things don't work out couples cannot just give up on their marriage as easily as in other societies and perhaps they try harder to make their marriages work.  In some cases, they are not able to break out of their marriages due to pressures from family and traditional mores. It's no wonder then that Can and Sanem are experiencing pre-wedding jitters. A certain amount are normal, and there's always the possibility that they fear they are marrying the wrong person. But having wedding jitters does not mean that the marriage is doomed or that it is time to call off the wedding. They are making a major life decision that will lock them into a life-long commitment and it not only affects them as individuals but also the lives of their families as well... When a couple marries in cultures with strong marital values like in the traditional Turkish culture, the families "marry" each other as well and are much more intertwined than they are in other cultures where marital values are much more relaxed. If the in-laws don't get along it will make it extremely difficult to endure as a couple.  It is real, and it is serious, and that is why Sanem and Can are nervous about their differences.
Can is more worldly and therefore may not acknowledge and hold in such high regard the importance of these family values and traditions as much as Sanem, who is much more ethnocentric in nature. Family and tradition are very important to Sanem. Leyla certainly showed Sanem what would have transpired if she had ran off and married Can in secret. Perhaps she would have gone through her life with so much regret that she may have eventually come to resent Can which would have put more pressure on them and caused even more conflict. But for Can and Sanem to even have these differences at all doesn't mean they can't find common ground. They each come from different worlds, which means they need to compromise and this is what is missing in their relationship right now. Can seems to be better at settling and accepting than Sanem. Sanem must realize this and come to some halfway point with Can if she wants to have a successful marriage. After all, she fell in love with all of Can which includes the values that are present in him and therefore she needs to learn to become more accepting.

All these conflicts will not just work themselves out. It is absolutely necessary for them to communicate their fears to one another. Otherwise they may internalize them which may turn into resentment and anger that hinders the relationship. And, communication is necessary not only between the two of them... but also with their parents because family is so important to them. Can needs to continue to work hard to get through to Huma. And Sanem needs to work just as hard to convince her family to come around as well. As we all know, marriage takes love, patience, understanding and a lot of hard work to be able to last a lifetime and our two love birds are beginning to find out just how hard it truly is. But at least they know one thing is for sure, and that is that their love is strong and undeniable and has helped them get through their past conflicts. They just need to keep believing in their love and eventually they can get through anything.

Canem Forever ❤️❤️