"Luke," I whispered. I had been staying over at his house for a couple of nights and we usually watched a christmas movie or something before going to bed. That night we were watching "The Grinch who Stole Christmas" and all of his attention was on the television. He made a weird grunting sound and I kissed his cheek lightly, with a small smile. He chuckled after everything that the Grinch said which made me smile.
"Yes, Jess?" He said softly without taking his eyes off the tv. He was absentmindedly curling the ends of my hair with his fingers, but I was very aware of it.
I wanted to tell him that I was ready to have sex with him. I mean, I loved him so it was okay. I knew that I would be able to say that my first time was with someone I truly loved. I wasn't so sure that this was the right time to be bringing sex into everything because he was very into the movie and I didn't want him to feel like he had to pleasure me that second.
"I love you," I told him.
What do I even say? 'I want to have sex with you?'
I decided I would climb on top of him and start making out with him until he was in the mood and then I knew he would say something like 'are you sure' and I would nod or something and then it would happen. Or that's just what I thought.
"I think we should have sex," I blurted out. I was so embarrassed that I had actually said it. Oh my gosh. He thought I was an idiot, or that's what I thought. He thought I was a horny idiot. What was I supposed to do; give reasoning behind my suggestion? Should I continue? Should I back it up with some quotes and examples?
"I agree," he said and finally looked at me with a slight smirk. "But I want it to be special. I'm pretty sure that's what girls want."
"I don't want it to be special," I told him, even though it would have been nice. "I want it to be with you."
"Would you like me to fuck you right now?" He said with a small chuckle. I wanted to say "hell yeah" but I didn't want him to feel pressured into it. I knew that he was joking but I could tell that he was also being serious.
"I don't know," I shrugged. I could not believe that we actually talked about having sex instead of just doing it.
And that's what he did. He flipped me onto him, so I was straddling his waist. He kissed my lips, hard, which turned me on even more. He pulled my tee shirt off and pulled the blanket over both of us.
-
"I love you so much," he whispered to me. My head is on his chest and we're both still naked. He was holding me tight and I honestly didn't want him to ever let go. He was playing with the ends of my hair again and it was calming me slightly, but my heart was still beating faster than ever.
"I love you, too," I told him and he kissed the top of my head very gently.
"Hey, guess what?" He said sheepishly.
"What"
"We just had sex," he giggled and bit his lip. I suddenly became insanely aware that I was naked and that he was also naked so I quickly grabbed a clean tee shirt from his closet and slipped into it along with other necessary times. He had asked me to grab a pair of his boxers from his dresser so I did and I tossed it to him.
I got back into bed and he pulled me close to him. He wrapped his arm around me and kissed me sweetly.
"Are you okay? Do you need anything?" He asked me. I shook my head and kissed him back. He drifted off into a deep slumber, but I was still wide awake, and thinking about how lucky I was to have Luke in my life.
What can I say, my first time was perfect.
