after you left |ai|

47

It had been a week now since I got back home, 2 days before the new school year started. It hadn't been easy yet and I found it difficult to settle into Ashton's home without him being here. Amber had moved into the downstairs guestroom without any issues, I on the other hand still had my bag unpacked in the corner of his room. He had told me repeatedly that I could use the empty part of his closet, the side that once belonged to his wife. I couldn't do it. Not yet.

Two months long, I spend every day, every minute, with him and I felt like I was missing a piece of me now that I was back in LA and he somewhere in Asia. We called every day but it wasn't the same. The bed felt cold and empty without him, even with the dogs trying to fill his space.

It was already 2am when I heard the door being pushed open softly. With both dogs already laying beside me, I turned around to look at the little girl, holding onto her favourite teddy bear. Even in the dark room, I could see her eyes filled with tears that were about to roll down any second now. I sat up and she quickly walked towards me. When she reached me I picked her up and put her down on my lap. She wrapped her arms around me and quiet sobs started to leave her body.

"Did you have a bad dream?" I asked her softly, she nodded while holding onto me so tightly. "It's okay Liv, it was just a bad dream. It wasn't real." I whispered while I rubbed her back gently and allowed her to just cry it out for a while. She had never spend longer than a day or two without Ashton and I knew she was just missing him. And I was missing him too.

"Daddy" she cried out and I let out a soft sigh while she held onto me.

"He'll be home again soon darling." I said to her softly, "It's okay" I whispered and she calmed down slowly, I made her look at me to wipe away the big tears that stained her face. "Do you want to stay with me?" I asked and she nodded softly, rubbing her eyes out of tiredness. I picked her up to put her in the middle of the bed, safely between the dogs and I. "I'm right here to protect you if the monsters come back." I laid down next to her and pulled the blankets over us while she moved closer to me. I moved the strands of hair behind her ear while she snuggled up against me.

"Sing" she mumbled softly and I let out a soft chuckle at her request. Ashton always sang her to sleep when she had a bad dream, I usually read her a story due to my very bad singing talents. "Please" she added so softly and I looked at her with a small smile while she looked up at me.

"Alright darling" I said to her before kissing her forehead. There weren't many songs I knew out of my head but after being on tour with 5SOS for two months, their songs were the only ones I could come up with. There was one song on the latest album that Ashton had written about Olivia,  I knew it out of my head forward and backwards, every word and line memorised after hearing it so many times. I started singing it to her softly and she closed her eyes while she listened to my voice that sounded more like a dying cat but she didn't care. Her breathing got slower and a small smile played on her face.

I reached for my phone behind me, light snores were already coming from Olivia, something she had gotten from her dad. I unlocked my phone and went to my texts with Ashton, smiling at the last 3 texts he had send after we said goodnight. He had waited long enough until he knew my phone was turned off.

— texts —

Ashton: I know you'll only read these when you wake up but I just want to say how much I love you. Thank you for being the most amazing girlfriend and always caring for Olivia and I.
Ashton: I miss you terribly and I'm counting down the days until I get to hold you again and tell you all the stories from tour. Just two more weeks until our LA show.
Ashton: tell liv that I love her too, I just miss both of my girls a lot :( oh and the dogs too. I miss them too.
Elle: I miss you too bub, so damn much.
Ashton: why the fuck are you awake? its like 2:30am there
Elle: olivia had a bad dream and I couldn't sleep. She's laying with me in bed now, her cuddles arent the same as yours but it's better than the dogs.
Elle: we're both just missing you terribly and it's only been a week..
Ashton: 16 more days baby...
Ashton: did she make you sing for her?
Elle: she did and somehow she peacefully fell asleep while listening to my voice that sounds like a cat being killed.
Ashton: fuck I miss you so much :(
Ashton: I used to be fine with being away for months but all I want to do now is be home with you and Liv.
Elle: just try to enjoy it as much as you can, you love being on that stage and touring is a part of your job wether we like it or not. Soon you'll be home again.
Ashton: the guys and I talked about it yesterday, we're going to shorten the possible next tours and split them up. We're going to try and prevent being away from home for longer than 1-2 months. So this might be the last time I'm away for so long
Elle: and if it isn't the last time, I'll be in LA waiting for the day you return or I'll try to take some time off, see what I can arrange.
Ashton: I love you
Elle: I love you too bub
Ashton: just try to sleep a little babe, you have to wake up again in a few hours and you need to be rested for work.
Elle: Goodnight bub, I'll call you in the morning x
Ashton: Goodnight Elle, I love you