~The Book of Randomness~

~The Thirty-Fifth Book of Randomness~

~C:~

Parrot in an airplane. It's so amazing. Parrots are chickens that were given the ability to fly, bear bright-colored children that don't look like dead cucumbers. Okay, I don't even know why squirrels can fly when given a unicorn. Please don't kill me.

Speaking of squirrels, I've never actually seen one in real life. I've pet a tiger, a llama, seen a wombat and a koala up close... Why haven't I seen a squirrel? I'm sorry, I'm just in a state of mind which allows me to see ghosts. Well, not really. I'm just thinking more than I normally would.

It's been a while since I've really talked about anything... How about I talk about cats? No? Tired of cats? How about coconuts? Oh, c'mon, you don't want to talk about the rectum? Fine, let's talk about pineapples.

Pineapple, coconut, big banana.

I'm done. I'm thirsty. *doesn't drink water* I'm not thirsty anymore. I drank a pineapple.

Barney : That's not physically possible...

Me : Shut up. You're not supposed to be here.

Barney : I'm a real person.

Me : No you aren't. You're just... Uhh....

Barney : What?

Me : I can't say anything that doesn't sound racist.

Barney : Purple?

Me : Dangit, now I sound mean.

Barney : You are mean!

~:C~