~The Book of Randomness~

~The Seven Billionth Book of Randomness~

~Six billion books, give or take a couple million~

It's been over six billion books! How are you? Have a husband or wife yet? A kid, even? No? Yes? Well, frankly, I don't quite care! I live in a pineapple, you live in a mushroom and your kids live in your mind! That's just life. Don't be too depressed. It's the truth.

You see, my paperclip was on a leash today. Why? He ate my apple. MAH APPULZ! I was screaming my head off. I smacked him a million times before putting a mini leash on his neck. That goes to show that you should never mess with Potatosauceinatree. Unless, that is, you want a leash to be put on your neck.

Now, I recall saying that I would have to make a sequel for the Book of Randomness once it reached 500 books/chapters. I then found out that you can only have 200 chapters per book, so that kinda ruined my purpose. Instead, I'll just make a couple million sequels. Sounds fun, no? I hope you'll read them all, because otherwise I'll stab you with a noodle.

I kind of want to rant about keyboards. No, not the ones you type with. I mean the ones you play beautiful music on it. Unless you've never  played in your life, then it just sounds awful. No offense. But, then again, you could have been blessed with amazing skill on the keyboard... I'll assume you weren't. Anyways, I'm going to start now. Brace yourself, put on a helmet, do anything to protect yourself.

Austria.

I'm done. I hope I didn't break your ears or eyes... If I did, I'm not paying for the hospital bills. Absolutely not. You can't make me. Unless you have a couple billion puffins that happen to be named Mister Puffin. Then I'll pay. No? Then go pay your own hospital bills, you cable!

Now, perhaps I'll help you calm down with the power of quotes? To be honest, these quotes make no sense whatsoever. I just wanted to write them down.

Failing to plan is planning to fail.

By this, by this, by this and by this.

Weeeeeeeeee

I'm done quoting for now. I don't believe any of them make much sense, besides the first one. The first one is truly inspirational :D I do hope you keep that in mind, otherwise all your written works will be like this one. No train of thoughts or- ooh, look a butterfly!

So, listen. I have something to say. A giant horse ate my hat and kinda ran off while singing the Star Wars theme song. Is that bad? I don't think so, since a monkey did that once. Besides, the Star Wars theme song is awesome. Like Prussia! Yeah! Charge like you just rose like a magic jack in the box! Aaaaaaaaah!

Ra we no jukebox. I'm so sorry, I was listening to music and for whatever reason those were the first four words to come into my head. You may now go insane trying to decode whatever I just said. Here's a website I recommend for decoding. http://www.purple.com

He was their friend! He was their friend and he betrayed them! Man, Harry Potter says the dumbest things. I don't even know why J.K. Rowling decided to write down his life in seven books! I don't want to read about a boy with a random scar on his head who says dumb things! Actually, I don't even mind reading the books. I love them. I LOVE THE HARRY POTTER SERIES!!! Forget I said anything, and just... Blue fish.

I think this book was a little too long. I mean, who's still reading? Hands up if you're reading. Oh, you're reading? Well, this paragraph was made in vain. Whoops. I'm so sorry for wasting your time! Please don't throw dots at me! *shields self as nothing comes*

Quick, don't think about cats! Greece, no! DO NOT. I KNOW WHAT- *cats start flooding the room* *dies*

~I no longer exist~