~The Book of Randomness~

~The Twenty-Second Book of Randomness~

~Story time!~

Once there was a young apple named Apple. Apple was a very boring person with little to no personality. He had very little taste. When bitten into, he would simply fart into the consumer's face and hop away. With style, of course. He had SWEG. 

One day, Apple found a flightless bird named Ostrich. Ostrich often laid large eggs underneath Apple's tree - this angered Apple and so he hopped down from the comfort of his little tree, landed on Ostrich's head and started scolding Ostrich. "Do not poop out eggs underneath my tree. I do not want to see little ostriches running around underneath me on a daily basis." Ostrich ignored Apple and started laying even more eggs.

And so Apple started hitting Ostrich on the head with a baseball bat. Even without hands, Apple was able to injure Ostrich using the random baseball bat that seemed to appear out of thin air. Then, suddenly, Ostrich's eggs started hatching. One by one, they all started exploring the apple tree, ignoring Apple completely.

All of a sudden a purple dinosaur came walking by. He was singing a song about happy families. "Oh, it's an apple and an ostrich." He reached into his pocket, pulled out a gun and shot Apple. Right in the core. Apple farted. Ostrich ran away. It was basically extremely smelly in the woods - Apple's farts are deadly. 

~Farting cats are in a tree~