~The Book of Randomness~

~The Thirteenth Book of Randomness~

~The Newspaper Is Dull Until Something Happens Somewhere Out There So I Want To Make A Newspaper Article That Is Entertaining. Also This Is The Most I've Ever Written Before An Actual Chapter~

PERSON CRAWLS INSIDE A CALCULATOR

This is JUSTIN (I'm not actually Justin - I'm potatosauceinatree)! Get it? Get it? Aww, you don't get it. Moving on from puns... This is JUSTIN! Get it? Get it? I really need to stop with the puns. This is just in! Mayonaise, a senior, decided to do something that resulted in an enormous problem for everyone, especially himself.

Mayonaise had been dared by one of his fellow seniors (for those who don't know, I don't mean the elderly. I just thought the word senior would be appropriate for a condiment) to crawl into a giant calculator. For most, the idea of crawling into a calculator would never even come to mind. But to Mayonaise, the idea had occured to him many times before he had been dared. So he hadn't given the dare a second thought before crawling into the device without hesitation.

A few hours after he had entered the calculator, he realized that he couldn't get out. Eventually Mustard had to crawl in along with Mayonaise to get him out. And that wraps up this week's news, due to my lack of imagination at this very moment.

If you're lucky, I won't EVER elaborate on this news article. It's just too horrible to be true (it's not true).

~I am BUGHAT~