Rosemary and Juliet

Juliet

Kaitlyn and Willow were talking about boys.... again. But Juliet didn't understand what the fuss was about. They weren't that cute.

"What if he wants to kiss me?" Willow gasped, glancing at one of them. Juliet rolled her eyes, but Kaitlyn nodded in eager agreement.

"Don't worry. We can practice," she promised her. Juliet sighed, wondering what the big deal was. She never said anything, but perhaps that was just it. She never said anything. And while that was her best method of remaining inconspicuous, deep down, she could tell that Kaitlyn knew.

Juliet was eight years old, and she did not think any of the boys that her friends talked about were cute. At all. And as time went on, she realized that it was like that with all guys in general.

When she talked to guys, she either thought there were awful to be around, or someone she wanted to be friends with, but there was never anything more to it than that. She knew that her girl friends thought that she was strange, but she couldn't even bring herself to care.

She always had Kaitlyn and Willow, but fitting in with the girls her age just wasn't going to happen. And then, of course, there was Jackson.

Jackson was a guy she knew through her dad's friend, and he was only a little bit older than her. They practically grew up together, and she certainly had some sort of sentimental feelings about him. He was the type of guy that every girl liked, and of all those girls, he chose to spend his time with Juliet. That was neat.

She wouldn't have been lying if she said that he was cute. He was. She definitely wouldn't have been dishonest in saying that there was a part of her that really wanted to like him. If she could, it would just make everything so much easier. But no matter what she told herself, or anyone else, for that matter, she just didn't.

****

"Juliet, go long!" He raced back with a football, throwing it to her.

It hit the ground in front of her, and she jumped back like a cat. "Oh my god, Jackson! You know I can't catch anything!"

"You should let me teach you."

"Sports are disgusting." Juliet picked up the ball and handed it to him.

"You're disgusting," he countered, ruffling her hair.

"I know," she agreed, laughing at him. "I'm going to go read something."

"You're just going to read the same Artemis Fowl book for the millionth time in a row, Jules," he pointed out.

"So what if I am?" She walked away, but he followed after her, and sat with her while she read. Friendship, yes. But no matter how hard she tried to convince herself, she didn't see him that way. She'd be trying to convince herself until she was thirteen.

Every time she thought about Jackson, she was able to convince herself it was true - even if it was just something she told Kaitlyn to appease her. She didn't see him very much as it was, it wasn't hard to pretend.

****

Her parents had divorced when she was eight, she didn't like change, and she didn't trust people at all. She preferred being unattached and somewhat lonely anyways. Not like she had the time for a social life. She had to watch her siblings while her mom worked, and that was hard work. Along with that, she was always switching schools, and they were never on the same academic track, which meant that there were definitely holes in her education. It wasn't easy.

If anything, her friends at Novi weren't forgetting her anytime soon: Jackson and Lea.

"I can't believe that you have to move!" Lea sobbed. "We're going to miss you so much!"

"I'll miss you guys too," she promised. And, well, she did. The three of them got into shit together. It was fun.

And then, when she moved back, it was weird.

"Oh my god, Juliet!" To her surprise, returning in the sixth grade did not meet her with strangers, but old friends who had not forgotten her.

"Hi, Lea," she said.

"We named this tree after you," Lea said, featuring at a tree.

"Wow, that's . . . wow." What the heck, I've been gone for three years.

Even though her mom had never exactly been the best at taking care of the younger two, it was different after the divorce. The responsibilities that Juliet had before only grew exponentially in effect of the divorce. She didn't complain though. Partly because her mother wouldn't allow it, and partly because it wasn't worth it to her. She was just going along with it, because someone had to be there for the younger two.

****

When she got older, she hung out with the high school boys, and understood when they remarked about how hot girls were. When she was alone, she thought about it, but never really took it seriously. After all, even a straight girl would have to admit girls were way more appealing than boys. It just was what it was, right? No need to get a headache over it.

****

By sixth grade, she'd made friends with a guy named Nathan, whom everyone in their friend group shipped her with. That was farther than she cared to act, since she had to see him every day. Besides, something just felt really wrong about that concept.

"Juliet! You should date Nathan!" Kaitlyn pleaded with her.

"No, Kaitlyn. I don't like Nathan." Not even how she usually didn't like guys. Something about Nathan pushed him into a completely platonic light for her. Like, even if she could like him, something would keep her from doing so.

"But you two you be so cute!" her friend insisted. "I mean, you both love theatre, and are the dorkiest kids I know. It's not like you're ever going to talk to Jackson about how you feel."

Juliet glared at her in defiance. "And your point is?"

"Well, if you can't act on that, why don't you try something else?"

"I don't like Nathan! Why are you so insistent about this?" she groaned in exasperation. She didn't like Jackson either, but that wasn't the point.

"Ask anyone. You'd be good together," she reasoned.

"I don't care! I have no interest in him."

"Why not?" Kaitlyn groaned.

Juliet could only shrug. There was never a reason. She never liked anyone. And when she thought about it, it was just way to confusing to try and figure out. Why should she be trying? Why did it have to matter?

Yet she never thought her true sexuality would be clear to her until she met the girl named Rosemary.