Rosemary and Juliet

Activism and a Plan

Juliet

Finding out about Nathan's murder crushed Rosemary. They had the best friendship that any two exes that were both gay could summon up, and that was just all gone. The funeral was going to be on Friday, after the coroner had examined the body and all that, and she wasn't sure she could take being there. Juliet stayed by her side through it all, but . . . it didn't seem to make it any easier.

The memorial ceremony was depressing, as it could've been expected to be. Nathan's older brother stood at the front, giving a short eulogy, following their parents. They said what family members could be expected to say.

Next came Nathan's best friend, Rachel. She stood in front of them, and Juliet glanced at Rosemary, who stared at her hands. She was going to speak next, and Juliet knew that she wasn't sure if she could.

"I knew Nathan from the time I was born. We grew up together, went to church together, got into mischief together . . . I didn't know this about him, and while it may have initially seemed stupid that he didn't tell me, I think that I understand now why he didn't." She gestured to the photos before them. "This is why. He was my best friend, and yet he couldn't tell me this about him, for the simple reason that he was afraid how I would react. How anyone would react. And now, before I could even tell him that I don't care . . . someone with no business caring took him away from me. From all of us. And I don't know if I am supposed to sound angry or sad, or remember him fondly, or what have you. All I know is that this is how I feel. And this is what I'd like to say about him. In his memory. That I loved and would've accepted him."

She sat down, and tried to catch Rosemary's eye. Juliet knew that Rosemary had been afraid of coming out to her for a long time, and now that she had the perfect chance to, she wasn't sure if she even wanted to take it. But Rosemary stood up and walked to the front, shaking less than Juliet had been expecting her to.

"I dated Nathan more times than I'm actually sure of," she began, and there was a moment of surprised laughter throughout the crowd of mourners. It was the kind of thing you didn't expect a eulogy to start with, but Juliet knew that Rosemary couldn't have done it any other way. "Which is a little ironic since the very thing that caused us to have to stand here today is true for both of us. I think that's why he liked me, though, to be quite honest, and maybe why I liked him. And while I could stand up here saying everything which our mutual friend, Rachel, has said already, I will tell you every great and terrible thing I know about him.

"See, Nathan wasn't exactly everyone's favorite guy, once upon a time. When we met, I was told, 'Oh, you don't have to talk to him, that's just Nathan.' Naturally, I ignored them, and I talked to him. And I knew right away that I wanted to be his friend. We dated for a little, but then we broke up because I was gay. Then we dated again, but we broke up again because I was still pretty gay." There was more laughter. Juliet's heart ached with a sort of bittersweetness watching her girlfriend make a group of crying people smile. "We actually used to fight a lot, until the time we kissed, and then we realized we were being stupid, because we were both actually pretty gay. When we finally told each other, it was like we knew exactly why we'd become friends. Every time the world felt like it was caving in, or something was going wrong, I didn't tell him, but he knew somehow, and vice versa. We'd be there for each other, whether it was welcomed or not. And, that's really hard for me, because . . . I wanted to be there for him then, when he needed me the most. Now that he's gone, I don't know who else will be able to be there for me like he was.

"But this was the real Nathan. He was fun, sassy, and compassionate in the rudest way he could manage. He was a true friend, and not in the cheesy, he's - dead - so - I - have - to - say - that way, but genuinely. I don't know what I'm going to do without him here, but I will never let a day go by that I don't in some way honor his memory. I love him, and this ending wasn't fair."