During lunch I was surrounded with people I forgot I befriended last school year. It was hard to keep up with my distant friends when I have friends like Jordan occupying my time and mind anyways. These girls weren't like Jordan though, these were the live and swear by the Bible girls. The old version of myself would have no such problem talking to them, but the former church girl in me no longer existed, well as heavy as it did in them.
But since Jordan was spending lunch working out her terribley planned school schedule with her counselor, I was opted to socializing outside of my circle.
"Charlotte! I didn't catch you at orientation!" Marilyn cheers wrapping me in one arm while the other held her lunch tray, "I've heard much."
We share a look that we both mutually know what that means. She heard whatever was forcing that horrible fake smile my way.
"How was your summer?" I ask her, diverting the conversation.
She begin to lead us both throughout the cafeteria while also searching for empty seats, "Daddy took us to Bora Bora most of the summer, I tried inviting you and bunch of other girls but your dad.."
"Yeah, sorry. He can be like that," I interrupt.
"Well clearly you were having just as much fun here," She smiles shoving my shoulder a bit, "So, Jack Gilinsky, this is the first I've heard of him."
"Well, I've been trying to keep it on the down low," I shrug, placing my tray down as we both find a seat away from crowds of people.
She raises an eyebrow pushing a group of curls behind her ear, "Really? Cause I've heard about this summer from a handful of people now."
I shoot her a surprised look before looking around the cafeteria, "People are still talking?"
Marilyn rolls her eyes, "Seriously, Charlotte? Do I have to list all the out of character things you've been doing lately? of course people are talking!"
I definitely didn't need honorable mentions of this summer. Trust me, half of it was still in replay in my head every few minutes just to make sure I'm not stuck in a fever dream. But it was all true - I cheated on Sammy Wilkinson, the perfect choir boyfriend, with whatever label Jack Gilinsky seem to acquire himself. The cheating itself sat unwell with me simply because it was the opposite my character could get. Dating Jack Gilinsky was both a disadvantage and advantage itself, I just had to to find out which ones sat comfortable with me enough to decide if it was worth it.
"I have to ask," Marilyn leans closer to me lowering her voice, "Is it true? Did you have sex with him?"
I look over to her deciding which cards to play. Marilyn wasn't someone I would open up to, especially not about my sex before marriage stance. Her parents basically instilled the idea into her head that anything else seemed absolutely radical. So I basically had to options : confirm the rumors and be the talk of the decade or deny the rumors and have it all disappear into small talk and nothing but rumors.
The option was clear, which is why I said:
"What? No."
I fake a small laugh as if I could ever have done something like that, making her take a breath of relief straightening up in her chair.
She takes a bite of her ranch dipped celery placing her other hand over her heart, "We'd love to have you back in the honors program, it's the year that really matters, so why not start at the top?"
I tightly smile at the offer before the conversation trails into something else. Marilyn spent the next fifteen minutes telling me stories about her summer vacation and I tried to pay her at least half of my attention.
Lying was now becoming very familiar in my life, as much as I hated to I didn't need to explain the truth as much when I could easily avoid explaining anything at all.
It didn't seem like a big of a deal to have sex and do normal stuff that teenagers did and it honestly wasn't depending on the type of person you were. People like Marilyn didn't think about it, didn't speak about it, and they waited - which was also completely fine. But people like Marilyn also thought that made them better than most, felt very entitled to try to push their way of life on others, which I never felt too comfortable with.
I always went along for the sake of it, it made the road a little bit easier - having sex with Jack was just the fallout I have to deal with.
