My heart is broken. My hair is matted. And my skin is breaking out again.
But it was still Monday.
I have gone thirteen years of my life without an unexcused absence from school, the dedication doesn't stop at heartache. In fact even my swollen eyes don't sway my mind enough to give into the weighted blanket.
Although sleep was on my side this weekend it still didn't feel like i gotten any, in fact i'm much more tired than i've been this entire month. The voice in my head for once is silent because for once i'm not thinking about anything. I think watching Jack drunkenly drive off in my face numbed an attachment from my brain to my heart.
The smell of burning tires clouded my mind instead.
It should be a regular Monday, and there shouldn't be any problems other than my decaying relationship. The bruises on my body fade each night but the more they disappear the heavier the area gets. I thought no longer seeing the marks would help my mental but seeing them fade away felt more painful.
I'm in the school parking lot at a time where most kids are, there was no avoiding my peers but a part of me wanted to be invisible among them. My social anxiety must've been building back up because everyone felt like they were staring only at
me. But as i walk through the halls of my school i realize that it isn't my anxiety at all and people were in fact glaring me down as i passed through.
I spot Marilyn hanging up an honor society poster on the library door so i decide to sneak up to her and in fact prove my theory wrong. My shoes click onto the tiles floor under me giving me away immediately, and she turns around before i can even announce myself.
"Charlie," Her eyes instantly shift to the people around us, "It's sure is nice to see you. You haven't shown up to a meeting in weeks."
"Sorry, I've been wrapped up in other things," I quickly lie.
Her eyebrows raise, "So i've heard."
"What exactly is it that you're hearing?"
She gives me a knowing look, like the information she had to share wasn't going to be anything good to say aloud, especially not to the victims face.
"Listen, I'm sort of in a rush," She holds up the remains flyers, "We'll talk at lunch."
She steps to the side before walking away from me and the library door. I couldn't go with these stares the entire day so i follow on her heels hoping to dig some information from her.
"Marilyn, please don't lowball me," She seems annoyed i'm following her still, "You know everything."
"I'm told things," She corrects, "And from what i was told, you are no better than you were last summer."
I look at her in confusion, "What does that even mean?"
Her hands smacks onto another wooden door placing another flyer and scaring me a bit, "You don't have to worry about returning to the meetings. I'm sorry Char but you aren't a good reflection for the team."
I scoff as if i gave a fuck about some stupid school club, "I don't need the honors society to prove anything. I need you to tell me what the hell is going on."
She groans before giving me her full attention, "Look, Johnson said some things that you should probably assort with him. You might even have to call that boyfriend of yours as well because all your dirty laundry has been aired. Everybody knows."
My eyes shift to the passing students and almost one out of three is looking in my direction, "But that's not what happened..."
Marilyn sighs placing a hand on my shoulder for im assuming reassurance, "Whatever did happen is only going downhill from here. You and Johnson are off the team, and trust when i say that wasn't an easy decision. You're the smartest person i know charlie but somehow you're always in some bottom of the barrel mess. I'm sorry."
