If weren't for my mom pounding on my door, I would've slept till four. I know she didn't see me arrive home last night so she's just checking in, I try not to let her interrupting my sleep bother me but i didn't feel any better than the night before. In fact I feel much more sore than I imagined, and my arms hurt to move even the blanket out my way.
I roll my sleeves down before opening the door as she attempts to knock again. She's smiling happily with a plate of fruits and a stirred iced latte from her favorite coffee place.
"You were out late last night," She mentions.
"I was home before curfew," I truthfully say, "You guys were just already asleep."
She nods her head trying to peer into my room, probably to give me pointers to clean it up, or criticize the mess. I don't think my mom want to though, i think she was the calm in the storm of our house.
"You just woke up?" She questions instead.
"Yeah, I was up last night looking at dad's set up for tomorrow."
She looks unconvinced, "Charlie, I love you father. But I don't advise trying to make him happy if the loss is more."
"So he can threaten to send me to georgia again?" I scoff annoyed.
She sighs, "Remember that i've done this before. With Riley...I'm not going to allow him to do it again to you."
"Mom, you didn't even stand up for me at dinner," I say not moved by her sudden desire to be stronger, "It's his house. His rules. And now i'm fine following them."
"Why didn't you just tell Jack sweetie?" She questions softly.
I look at her in disbelief, "You don't get to ask me that."
I can tell i'm already crying, or look if by the way she immediately backs down. I don't feel the sadness behind my tears though, in fact I don't think it's that I feel. After last night everything felt like anger and I didn't want to be mean, especially not to the people I needed on my side.
I'm still trying to convince myself why I need them.
"Do you have any plans today?" She says instead.
I'm reminded of how on a saturday I would be with Jack, either at the peak with ice cream or literally anything else. I know he mentioned getting a tune up from Donnie, and there's no better time than a saturday afternoon.
And yes it was very stalkerish and weird for me to just pop up at Noelles house looking for Gilinsky, but i'm out of options. I have nothing to say for hiding what our parents agreed on, and perhaps I just need to apologize for it.
"Jordan and I are going thrifting in Bayview," I quickly lie.
"That's two towns over, are you sure there's nothing you can find here?" She questions.
I shake my head, "It's just for today."
"Be safe at least," She smiles weakly, "Call me if anything."
I think how I could've called her last night at that gas station. It would've been too much to ask her to drive an hour and half out just to get me, especially because I wouldn't have told her why I was there, or why I looked the way I did.
I close the door once she leaves giving myself time to prepare. I didn't stare in the mirror for too long but what I did catch needed to be covered. Thankfully it was approaching fall, and it got cold fast here so I went for a light sweater. My outfit is poorly put together but still looks like something I would wear on a typical day. If i were to bust out sweats and no makeup it would look like something had changed about me.
