My Best Friend's the God of Mischief // Peter x Loki

too far gone

Just wanted to throw a light trigger warning for this one. Nothing's too explicit. Just thought you guys might preferred knowing what to expect. All the love. Xx

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Mister Loki was out of his life. Though he was never out of his mind. Peter closed the laptop, feeling frustrated, when two hours passed and he was still stuck at the first sentence of his 3,000-words-essay homework about Norse mythology. If Mister Loki were here, he would've provided a lot of help. If Mister Loki were here, they would've laughed their asses off at Peter's lame joke and talked about whatever they found entertaining. Fuck. Peter missed those times.

Are we friends? Peter had asked, and Mister Loki's answer was no. They weren't friends. It hit him hard because every time Peter thought about the moments he and Mister Loki shared, Mister Loki's words echoed in his head like a broken record; they weren't friends. He was a God. Peter was just a kid. They were never meant to develop any sort of friendship.

His phone buzzed. Peter picked it up and read the text from Ned, soooo that's it? He's just gone?

Pete told him about Mister Loki leaving with Mister Thor. Though he never said anything about Mister Loki rejecting his friendship (Ned was one of Peter's best friends, too. And he never kept anything a secret from Ned - well, except him being Spider-Man and Ned found out about it himself - but to talk about Mister Loki saying they weren't friends hurt, and Peter would need some time to.... heal)

Yeah, Peter typed. He's gone lol, then he hit the green button with a white arrow to send the text, and tossed the phone away.

The good thing about texting was that you could literally be curling up into a ball of misery, crying your eyes out and the other person would never know you weren't okay as long as you had 'lol' at the end of your text and keep your wording style smooth. In this situation, Peter would very much like to keep how he felt (terrible, having just losing a friend) to himself.

He heard knocking on his window, sixteen stories high, and almost fell down the chair hopping so fast to open the curtains with a hammering heart, that almost ripped out his chest, to see who it was.

"Oh," Peter mouthed when Negan (the pigeon who shared those onions with Mister Loki on the rooftop) looked at him with a hint of annoyance on his bird face.

It was Negan doing whatever-bird-thing of his that caused the noise. Not that there was someone out there.

"Sorry, Mister Negan," Peter apologized with a look of disappointment in his eyes. "I'll leave you to it. Just - do whatever you were doing. I won't bother anymore,"

He closed the curtains and flopped down on his bed, eyes on the ceiling.

His phone never out of reach. Peter picked it up again and typed, fuck. I miss him, into his message section with Ned. His thumb hovered over the green button for almost a minute. Then he deleted the whole thing without sending them out.

~~~

Thor sighed heavily after another glass of tequila. He had just talked Loki into going back to sleep, but he knew that did not mean the problem was solved. Thor didn't know whether or not there was something in his brother's body, but Loki believed it, and so, for Loki, it was real. And Thor would just have to figure out a solution unless he wanted another breakdown from a brother whom he just got back.

He toyed with the phone in his hand. May gave him her number, just in case. Of what? Just in case Loki lost his mind? If it ever come down to that, wouldn't Thor be the one who was supposed to know how to handle best, for Thor was Loki's brother for thousands of years while she was a mortal who's only known him for short period of time.

Thor hissed. Part of him hated that he knew, because he knew Loki better than anyone else, Loki looked at May as if she were.... Frigga. In the past, Loki had always turned to Frigga every time something was bothering him. And Frigga would always know what to do while Thor was clueless.

His miss-matched eyes glued to the screen, the contact list was named under 'May Parker' and he was just so tempted to call her. Tell me what to do. I'm his brother, but I never know how to help him. Please, tell me what to do.

He ended up tossing the phone across the table and drinking some more. He'd probably end up drinking a lot more, if not for the faint cry of Loki coming from his room.

Thor's hand came to an abrupt halt. He may be intoxicated, but his big brother instincts never failed to alarm him should Loki be in any - trouble. Thor listened closely and he could almost hear the little suppressed sobs from where Loki was supposed to be asleep.

Damnit.

***

"Loki?" Thor knocked fist. (He almost just kicked the door open. But held himself back in time) "Loki are you all right?"

Silence. Something was wrong.

"Loki?" Thor knocked louder, voice darker as anxiety gnawed.

"I'm -" Loki said. "I'm fine," but Thor still sensed it in his brother's cracked voice, in the air; the wrongness.

"Can I come in?"

Silence. Again.

Thor growled and was about to open the door anyway when it cracked open slowly and Loki was there, in front of Thor, with his red-rimmed eyes.

"Loki," Thor didn't try to hide the worries in his eyes. He scanned his brother from head to toe, to search for anything that may be out of place, and the first thing that caught his attention was the way Loki held his own wrist carefully, shielding it away from Thor's sight when he noticed Thor was watching.

What have you done? Thor almost blurted out, the words thankfully caged behind his teeth just in time before he could make things worse.

"I thought you'd be... asleep," he worded it carefully even if he wasn't quite successful in averting his eyes from Loki's wrist.

"Am I bothering you?" Loki said quietly after a moment. He looked tense, guarded, and Thor almost expected him to shut the door in his face in any second.

"No, just -" Thor trailed off, and decided Loki would go as far as he could trying to dance around the subject. Thor's only choice would be to give him no way out. "Can I see your wrist?" The moment the question was asked Thor was sure he saw Loki flinched.

He realized belatedly it was the spot where Loki mentioned something was put in him earlier. And that's when Thor lost himself. Loki didn't have time to react when large hand grabbed his, pulling it away and revealing the sore spot where Loki had dug nails into his own skin, torn open flesh, until it bled.

Thor's eyes widened as he held his breath. For a moment he didn't say anything, just stared at the self-inflicted mess on Loki's wrist, and Loki found his brother's silence more disturbing than any cruel words he expected Thor to yell at him.

"Thor," Loki said. His voice like a child. Vulnerable. Exposed.

Thor closed his eyes, still not letting go of Loki's wrist, as he took in deep breaths. In and out. He was clearly counting them to calm himself down.

"Why," Thor said at last. "Why would you do such thing to yourself?"

"I told you!" Loki snapped. He yanked his hand from Thor's hold and hissed when it hurt, then quickly recovered himself, "I told you there was something in me and I needed it out. You didn't listen. I need it out but I still can't. It's still in me, Thor. Don't you see? It's in me!" He shoved it at Thor's face, the bleeding cuts resulted from clawing at his own skin, it caught Thor off guard, and when Thor looked at Loki's face there were something in his eyes, something that weren't just madness; fear and despite.

"I want it out!" Loki was crying. No holding back at this point. "I want it out, Thor. I need to get it out. Why won't you help me. Why won't you-"

His voice cut short when Thor pulled him into a desperate hug, arms around Loki's back too tight but he couldn't care less. Loki struggled to break free just for a quick moment before he gave in and sank into his brother's embrace.

"We will find a way," Thor promised in his brother's ear, cradling him tight. "We'll find a way to get it out," but I won't let you hurt yourself anymore.