Wonderwall [Vanessa/you] [Hiatus]

S2. Episode thirteen

"So?" She mumbled. "What does that mean?"

I looked down, not even knowing what I was getting at myself but.. I knew that last night didn't just mean 'nothing.' It was something and there was no denying that. "Just.." I hummed and stopped myself, trying to make sure the next words I muttered were what I really wanted. "We can.. just.. go with the flow." She raised her eyebrows, knowing what I meant and I was honestly shocked at myself as well. "Just until I figure it out. Is that selfish?"

"Yes." She said almost instantly but still slid her arms around my sides. "But so am I." She leaned forward and softly connected our lips, bringing that raging pulse back as my skin turned hot.

God, I was so fucked.

-

"That's all for today but..." Mr Hiden said as he walked across the front of the lecture hall. "This is it. You are all ninety days away from completing your first year here at Stanford.. now is not a time to slack or fall behind. It's time to grind and study tediously because at the end, the rewarding feeling you'll have will surpass the stress you feel today."

My phone buzzed and I quickly silenced it before looking down.

Jazzy😜: I brought tacos for lunch. in the parking lot.

I shifted in my seat with a smile as I looked up before quickly typing a text back.

Me: you know me so well damn

Jazzy😜: well duh, now hurry and bring your cute butt out.

I looked up just as Hiben dismissed us and I all but shot up from my seat, quickly jogging down the stairs with my computer tucked under my arm.

"Y/n-"

"I'll catch you later." I called to Ash before swinging out of the door and jogging down the outside stairs now.

Almost immediately, I spotted the midnight black Mercedes parked next to my truck. And, like usual, the smile took over my lips again when I saw her leaned against it in her practice windbreaker and simple Stanford practice shorts. It was so laid back yet it looked great in her.

Stepping forward, I went to wave when my arm was suddenly grabbed. I turned my head and saw bright green ones staring back at me. "Y/n.. can we talk?" I gulped before nodding softly, looking over her shoulder as Jasmine pushed her dark glasses to the top of her head. "I know we haven't talk in a week and I feel terrible about it I just had to figure some things out."

"Yeah?" I muttered, my eyes continuously looking over at Jas. "What uh.. what did you need to figure out?"

"I realized that the reason I was having such a tough time was because I didn't face my problems head on." I looked down at Vanessa as she smiled. "And I did. I invited William over and I laid it into him. I got rid of every bad thing I was feeling until I felt better. It was closure.. that's what I needed." Her wide smile was starting to freak me out, almost as if she expected me to be as happy as she was. "And after that, I felt like I got rid of my initial trust issues so.. I know I can be a better girlfriend, if you allow me to be."

"Oh.." I breathed out and crossed my arms, looking down as that conflicting feeling seemed to be at an all time high. "You.. you've been hanging out with William?" I asked, my mind racing as I thought about the two woman in the same proximity.

"Yes, but only to officially let him go. And I mean that in a sense of letting go the baggage he gave me. The pain and the trust issues, they were all built from him. So, we had a long talk to just let everything go." I nodded and looked up again, seeing Jasmine slowly pull her glasses down and slide into her car. "So.. we can be good now, right? We're okay?"

"Vanessa.." I swallowed thickly before dropping my folded arms. "I'm still.. figuring stuff out. You ignored me for a week to talk with your ex instead that's not something I can just.. let go." Her eyes dropped as mine followed the Mercedes out of the parking lot. "We have to take it slow because I don't know.. what I want."

"Oh.." she mumbled softly, forcing a smile. "That's okay, slow is okay with me." Ah, just go ahead and stick the knife in deeper, why don't you? "Because.." she cupped my face before leaning up and softly pressing her lips to mine, me reluctantly kissing back as the knife now twisted in my gut. "I love you." She finished once she pulled back.

I forced a smile and nodded. "I love you too." And I meant that. Problem was.. she wasn't the only one with that title now.

-

We both sat across from one another at a downtown coffee shop that looked like the grandmas shoe story book we read as kids. It was lowkey and not a place anyone either of us knew would go, which was perfect.

"She wants to work it out." I mumbled, swirling the teabag around in the teacup. "Apparently she figured out the root of her problems." Jasmine nodded softly, sipping quietly on her hot cocoa. "I told her we'd take it slow because I was still unsure." She nodded again. "Please say something."

"I don't know, Y/n." She whispered once she set the cup down. "I like you, you love her. There's nothing else to say." Her brown eyes raised, filled with pain as she added. "I can't compete with her."

"What do you mean?" I questioned, my eyebrows furrowing instinctively.

"She's.. Vanessa. Every person at Stanford knows who she is. As soon as she walks into the room, everyone stop and watches." She then smiled sadly "Even you."

"If it's about looks, you've got all of that, Jasmine. Have you seen yourself-"

"Would you leave her for me?" She cut off, automatically making me drop my eyes. "So it's not all looks, Y/n. It's more."

"I still.. feel things for you." She shook her head and started to stand up. "Jasmine, you don't understand-"

"I do. You feel for me but more for her and I'm not going to hold that against you." She pulled on her windbreaker and started to pull bills out of her wallet to pay for the check. "Just give me some time to get over it, I still want to be your friend-"

"Goddamit Jasmine, can't you see I don't want to be your friend?!" I stood up, my chest heaving as she froze in place. "I want you, okay?" I shakily raised my right hand to her cheek, softly caressing her skin with my thumb as we both stared at one another, her brown eyes mesmerizing under the fairy lights. "I want you." I repeated, more pointedly.

"Then what are you waiting for?" She whispered and I forward, connecting our lips. I raised my other hand to the side of her neck and kissed back, our bodies melting together as whatever folk song playing in the background started to make this moment even more serene. "This is wrong." She mumbled when I pulled back and grabbed her hand, kissing her palm as she dropped her head against my chest.

"I know." I responded as I wrapped my arms around her shoulders, pecking her temple as I held her close. "We'll deal with the repercussions later... just let me have you."

She tightened her arms around me and kissed my shoulder, mumbling a simple, "Okay."

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