Heroes Need Saving Too (BNHAxReader)

Chapter 51: I'm trying at least

"If I would have done that you probably wouldn't have woken up; and yes, he's still here too. He's working on papers in the teachers office." he answered all of my questions.

I huffed about in my seat for a minute before saying, "Let's go." sounding bummed out. I stood up and as soon as I did I nearly fell over. Aizawa put his arm out to try and catch me if I actually did fall; I caught myself before he had to.

"Seriously, what's wrong? I truly am worried for you." he said, sounding concerned.

I then moped to the door, "I'll tell you later."

We then stopped by the teachers office. Aizawa went to Mic while I went to All Might.

"Ahh, hello there, Y/N." All Might said with his usual smile.

Frustrated, I said, "I'm sorry, but I'm going to have to take a rain check this week for our meet up. I'm not feeling the best."

Understandingly he said, "Yes, I can see that you don't look like you're in the best of shape. That's fine, we can meet up whenever."

"Okay, I'll text you when I get better and about the day that would work."

"Alright; your health is more important, so be sure to take your time." He ordered, I just nodded my head.

"Y/N, you ready to go?" Mic yelled to me.

"See ya." I said in a bummed out tone, then walked to the door where Mic and Aizawa were waiting.

We walked to the car in silence. I stumbled a few times on our way there but didn't fall; though I nearly fell down stairs. When we got in the car I didn't bother buckling up, I just laid down and fell asleep. I was then woken up by Yamada while Aizawa was unlocking the apartment. I then followed slowly behind Yamada on our way to the door. I was so tired that as soon as I took off my shoes, I walked up stairs and to my room. I didn't have the energy to get up to my bed so I just flopped onto the sofa. Through the door I heard Yamada's muffled voice through the door.

"Y/N? Can you come down here please?"

I groaned about walking down there, but gathered enough motivation to go down there. I opened my door and slowly made my way down the stairs. They were sitting next to each other on the sofa.

"Come and sit over here." Yamada invited.

I then walked to the chair that was to the left of them and sat down.

Aizawa started, "I know that in the note that we left this morning I said that you can talk about what happened when you're ready. I have a feeling that we should know what happened as soon as possible just in case something bad were to happen." I looked down, trying to hide my face. "Please, Y/N."

I sighed before I explained, "I woke up this morning and couldn't fall back asleep, so I decided to hang out in my room, ya know? I played video-games and read; then when I was getting tired I figured that I should go back to bed. I heard a voice and it said to join them and that I was in their debt. As soon as you guys came bursting in, the figure disappeared and I thought that he turned into you two." I stopped as I looked down in shame, "I'm sorry I sent you guys flying and hit a wall. It was my reflexes and my 'fight or flight' mode."

"No, that's fine. We understand where you came from when you did that, but what about your arms. You already told us about the figure and what it said, but you didn't seem like yourself this morning." Aizawa said in a calm tone.

Yamada then added in the same tone as Aizawa, "Yeah, and we thought that you were getting better. What happened?"

Melody came up to me and tried to climb my leg. I picked her up and sat her on my lap. Once she settled down, she curled up and fell asleep.

Aizawa then remembered, "Also, where did you get the tool that you used?"

My face started to get hot, so I imagined that it was turning red too. I tried to hide my face with my hair and I looked down, pretending to be watching Melody intently. Since they weren't pressuring me, I was able to gather the courage to talk about it.

Quietly I explained, "So, y-you know how I had taken all of Midoriya's mental pain and now I carry it, which wasn't the plan? W-well, it got so unbearable that I tried to...that I tried to...ki-...comm-..." I let out a depressed, frustrated and anxious sigh since my voice wouldn't let me continue with what I was going to say.

"You were going to commit su-" Aizawa started hesitantly, but I cut him off.

"Yeah..." I paused for the longest time. "It's just that...all of the emotions that I'm feeling are overwhelming. I'm carrying emotions for two people who were already wanting to die. I am lacking motivation for anything and everything."

In a sad and quiet tone, Yamada asked, "How? How were you going to do it?"

I didn't want to say, but I did anyway. In an ashamed tone, I said, "I tried to erase the quirk that kept me alive if I died, and jumped from...from the roof."

Aizawa then asked, "And your arms? It looked like you were trying to do the job by that."

I explained, "I wanted to feel the pain...it brings such joy at such a terrible time."

Yamada then pieced two and two together, "If you jumped from the roof and you're walking around just fine, how do you not have broken bones? I mean, you could have healed yourself, but you seem too weak to do something that big and something that takes that much energy."

I said my theory, "You know that figure that I saw and how it said those things? I think that it healed me. It said that I can't die now."

Aizawa and Yamada's expression changed from worrying about me, to shock and being on guard. They then looked at me again, but no one said a word.

"I'm sorry." I whispered.

"There's nothing to be sorry for. You were just trying to save yourself." Aizawa said as he stood up. Since he now knew that I still cut, I thought that he was going to try and find a razor or something to use that as a way to make up for me cutting since we were supposed to stop together.

Holding Melody on my lap so that she wouldn't fall off, I yelled, "Don't!" Then I repeated quietly, "Don't." I then paused as I sat back down normally in the chair. Aizawa turned around and was now facing me. "P-please, don't."

"What do you think I'm going to do?" Aizawa asked.

Yamada answered for me, "Sho, she probably thinks that you're going to do something like you did last time. Honestly, so do I. So, what are you going to do?"

He answered, "I was going to get my phone to tell Nezu and All Might that it may be starting."

"It?" I asked since I didn't know what they were talking about.

Aizawa explained, "If something like that happened, we are to report it to both Nezu and Yagi. They will then be on high alert and put out more security since we don't want a second attack like they did at the USJ arena."

'So it was my fault...I see...'

I whispered super quietly, "So, it was m-"

"No!" Aizawa exclaimed, "It was most certainly not your fault." He then calmed down, "The station obtained details about the attackers and they are known as the League of Villains. Their motive was about All Might; not you."

'Still...I see it as my fault though...'

I sat there in silence while I thought about that. "May I go to sleep now? I'm really tired." I asked, sounding dead as ever.

"Sure," Yamada said kindly, "you need to heal, so go, sleep all you need."

"Yes." Aizawa then added before he dialed the number into his phone, "I'm also making you stay back from school tomorrow. That means don't show up and sleep all day in class if you think you can do it. Stay here and sleep, it is what you need. Also, don't worry about food if you get hungry, Zashi's got that covered."

I then stood up and bowed, "Thank you for how much you guys are dealing with me; and sorry for making you worry." I then stood up and went to my room.

I figured that since I'd be sleeping all night, I took a shower, changed into PJs, and climbed to my bed. For how tired I was, I couldn't fall asleep until well over an hour later. My mind wouldn't be quiet and let me sleep...damn thoughts.