Falice

Handcuffs

"Live from the heart of Riverdale, I'm Alice Smith with your RIVW news." Alice smiled into the camera.

"And cut," The cameraman shut it off as they wrapped. She handed him the microphone and he went to go take the equipment to the truck.

Alice looked down at FP on the floor. She yanked on the handcuffs so he could get up. "I don't see why I had to hide down here." He propped himself up.

"Because you couldn't be in the shot attached to me like this."

"It's not my fault. I said we could have gone down to the station to get the spare key."

"We wouldn't have had enough time to get here. And it is your fault. Why did you just leave your holster lying around?"

"How was I supposed to know our son was going to handcuff us together this morning?"

"Yeah, well, you impregnated me with him."

"That was twenty five years ago."

"He's still half yours." Alice shrugged it off.

"He only did this because you wouldn't stop yelling at me," FP lead her out of the diner and to the cruiser.

Betty, Jellybean, and Charles were tired of hearing them argue over ever little thing in the morning. That was until Charles grabbed his father's handcuffs and cuffed them together, insisting he would give them the key once they resolved their issues.

"You shouldn't have done what you did. We didn't have decent plates to eat with."

"I was trying to be nice," FP sighed. "It's just that I was really sleepy when I loaded the oven with the plates. I thought it was the dishwasher." He opened the car door for her. "Watch your head." They both had to climb in through his door so that he would be able to drive after. It wasn't easy getting around in their state. Alice buckled in and waited for him to go. He adjusted the rear view mirror and started the car. "Can we just forget about it? I already said I was sorry."

"Fine," Alice huffed. She stared out the window as he drove.

•••

FP rummaged through his desk. He searched every drawer and inch in his office. "Don't get mad but-"

"You lost it?" She yelled at him.

"I just can't find it. Trust me, I'm trying."

"Unbelievable," Alice threw her hands in the air.

"Well would you tell our son to fork over my key?"

"Why me?"

"Because he'll listen to you not me."

Alice grabbed her purse and looked for her phone. She dialed Charles' number. It went to voicemail. "Sweetheart, when you get this you better be on your way to get your father and I out of these things. He's driving me insane."

"Hey, what did I do?" FP could be heard in the background.

"Quickly," Alice shut the phone off.

"That was uncalled for."

Alice checked her screen to check an incoming text from Charles. "Make yourself comfortable. We have to wait a while."