Falice

Tattoo

•••

"I don't know, Betty." FP sounded very hesitant about the idea. "Your mother would murder me and then proceed to bury me in a ditch if I do it."

"Please, wouldn't it be better if you, someone we trust, did it rather than a complete stranger in a tattoo parlor? I'm only asking for something small. I can hide it." Betty pleaded. She knew he could draw tattoos and she didn't have anyone else to go to without her mother's permission. "I am the Serpent Queen. Shouldn't I have my Serpent tattoo?" She tried to reason with him. "You have one. Jughead has one. My mom has one...somewhere."

"Fine," FP sighed. Betty squealed from joy and ran up to her room. "Oh, your mother is going to kill me."

•••

It has been two weeks since Betty got her tattoo and the guilt was eating him alive. He sat across from Alice who was reading a book. His eyes kept flickering up from the table to her then back down. He had to say something.

"Al," FP nervously said.

"Yes?" She turned to the next page in her book.

"I...never mind."

"What's on your mind?" Alice closed her book and placed it on the table.

"Promise to not freak out?"

"How bad is it that I have to promise?"

"Just promise that you won't kill me and put me in a coffin?"

"What did you do?" She carefully eyed him.

FP looked away from her glaring eyes. "I might have given Betty a Serpent tattoo." He said feebly.

"You what!" Alice reacted much like he thought she would. "How could you do that without consulting me? I am her mother. You can't just put permanent ink on her."

"To be fair she had a valid point. She is leading them alongside my boy."

"This is not helping your case, Forsythe." She used his legal name and he knew he was in big trouble. "Oh my God! She's tattooed. How could I not know this?" She began to go into her hysterics. "I'm a terrible mother. She probably going to get something pierced next or dye her hair blue."

"Let's not overreact, babe. It's a very small tattoo. She's not going to do anything extravagant."

"Don't tell me to not overreact. I'm her mother. I'm allowed to overreact. Especially for a tattoo. What the hell made you think you could do that?"

"You have one, I have one, Jug has one..."

"Great, so if I jumped off a cliff you would too?" Alice crossed her arms.

FP gasped. "You would never jump off of a cliff under my watch. I protect you at all costs."

"If your best friend jumped-"

"Is it Fred?"

"Doesn't matter. If a friend-"

"It does matter. Is it Fred?"

"Fine, If your best friend, Fred, jumped off a cliff would you jump too?"

"Hell no. There's no situation where Fred would jump off a cliff. He's not an idiot, you know?"

"Hypothetically speaking."

"Hypothetically speaking, he wouldn't."

"That's not the point." Alice smacked his shoulder. "The moral of the story is that you shouldn't be tattooing my daughter."

"I'm sorry but it was either me or Byrdie from the tattoo parlor. She would have gotten her tattoo anyway."

"You do have a pointed there," Alice sighed. "If she's anything like me she would have."

"Hers would never top yours." FP leaned in for a kiss. She put a finger on his lips, stopping him. "Ah, ah, I'm still mad at you."

"I said I was sorry, Al." FP pouted. "I really am. I've felt so guilty. It's been eating me alive."

"I'll be having a talk with her later but you, Jonesy, are punished effective immediately."

"One kiss?"

"No."

"One teeny tiny kiss?"

"No."

"A quick lovely kiss to make sure you still love me?"

"I love you, honey, but no kiss today."

"I blame Betty," FP grumbled under his breath.

Alice thought his sulking was kind of cute but she couldn't give in. "Fine, if it kills you so damn much." She grabbed his face and kissed him. She let go and got up. "That's all you get for the rest of the day."

FP gawked. He really did think he wouldn't get his kiss. Truth be told Alice couldn't stay mad at him for too long. "I quit the tattooing business. Just love me."

"It's so unfortunate that I love you so much," Alice dramatically sighed. He laughed and watched her with heart eyes as she walked away.