Falice

FP who?

I'm really loving this friendship

•••

FP reached into his pocket for his keys. He searched for the right key on the ring. He had been at work for hours and all he could think about was diving into bed for a nap. He unlocked the door and let himself in. He kicked the door shut while he took his jacket off. He hung it on the chair in kitchen before switching the light switch on. He looked into the living room and was frightened by the two women sitting across from each other and staring right at him. "Jesus christ," FP brought a hand up to his chest. "A little heads up next time would have been nice."

"Forsythe," Alice formally addressed his name. She was giving him the very look that terrified him. He didn't like that look. It always meant he was in trouble. "FP," Gladys similarly sat with her arms crossed. These two women have been waiting for FP to arrive for the past few hours. "We need to talk," The women state in unison. Now that scared FP. "Sit," Alice commanded. She pointed to a chair and he obediently did as asked. He wasn't going to test her patience right now.

"Is there anything you'd like to say?" Gladys questioned her husband first.

"Well I was hoping to take a nap but I don't think that's going to happen now." FP chuckled but the women glared at him. It was no time for jokes. "Okay but one how long have you both been here and two how did you both get in here?" He remembered he locked the door before he left for work.

"I'm your wife," Gladys scoffed. "I had-"

"Yeah okay," Alice spoke over her. "I'm the love of his life."

"-a key to this trailer." Gladys heard Alice and glared at her. "I don't see the ring to prove it." She pettily brought up her hand to her mouth as she yawned to show off the ring.

"Maybe I didn't get the ring but at least I got to do everything first." She smirked. She was satisfied with her comeback when she saw how venomously it was crawling under her skin. She was fuming. The women began to bicker at each other, loudly. "Hey, hey!" FP tried to tame them but they both swerved their heads to look at him. They pointed right at him and told him to shut up. "Are you both going to just sit here and yell at each other?"

"He's right," Alice said. FP was starting to feel proud of himself for putting an end to the feud but she took that away from him. "We're here to yell at you!"

"I am your wife, FP Jones." Gladys clarified sassily for him. "You belong to me, not the Stepford from the other side of the tracks."

"I've got just as much southside blood in me as you." Alice defended her southside youth. She wasn't going to let her put her down. "I even have a certain snake wrapped around my finger." She added in the last bit to toy with her even more. "Just like back in the day."

"Have you been hooking up with Goldilocks while I was gone?" Gladys questioned FP. FP fiddled with his thumbs. He was avoiding the question. "Answer the damn question."

"Yes," He admitted.

"For the love of God. Does this not mean anything to you?" She waved her hand in the air.

"To be fair you left me years ago and took my daughter with you." He crossed his arms and challenged her. "Where is she anyway?"

"She's spending time with her big brother." She answered. "But don't change the subject. We're talking about your adultery." She then looked at Alice. "You're sleeping with a married man. You're married too. Shouldn't you-"

"I'm not," Alice corrected her. "I'm in the middle of my divorce."

"Divorce?" Gladys smugly smiled. "You're going after my man when you can't even keep the one you have?"

"I'm better off without Hal." She rolled her eyes.

"Hal? Hal Cooper? The damn golden boy of the nineties." Gladys scrunched her face with confusion. "How did that happen?" She had a lot of questions. "You want to leave that Jiminy Cricket for a snake."

"I'm right here," FP cleared his throat. She ignored his comment. "No offense but why? This fool clearly can't commit." She again bashed on her own husband. "Hey," FP once again marked his presence.

"Because I didn't love Hal the way I love FP." Alice confessed. "But you're not wrong on the commitment part. He blew me off for a Vixen back in high school." She added into Gladys' statement.

"That was-" FP tried to get out but Alice hushed him. "Don't interrupt me." She sternly told him.

"I know," Gladys surprisingly agreed with Alice. "Before we got married I swear there could have been a fling between him and Penny."

"Penny Peabody? Ugh hated her." Alice said her name with disgust.

"I know," Gladys huffed. "She always had beef with FP from there on. And what was I do to but make it clear that she's a lost cause."

"You know he still sucks at feeling stuff."

"You noticed that too?" Gladys was now intrigued. "I swear he can't just rip his heart open and say I love you."

"I know," Alice stated as if they were on the same page. "The man just blew me off once again when things were starting to get great."

"Okay, okay, I'm still here." FP threw his hands in the air. "Are you two just going to keep talking down on my name?"

"Yes," They said as a matter of fact. "All I'm saying is that this John Bender wannabe could never be good at love."

"Ouch," FP said.

"Now do you see why I've gone to Toledo to stay with my parents," Gladys justified her move. "It wouldn't hurt to be told I love you."

"Yeah it really wouldn't," Alice agreed. "You know you love me and I would like a reassurance every once in a while." She stood up from the couch.

"That's right. You have to learn to love us right." Gladys pushed herself up from the couch. They walked in FP's direction together. They gave him a wack to head before exiting. FP rubbed his temples and watched them leave. He was confused out of his mind. His girlfriend and wife both just worked together to bash him. "Women," He muttered.

"What did you say?" Both of then stuck their head back into the trailer.

"Nothing," He immediately said. "Just need that nap."

"Good," Alice said. "Come on Gladys. We're going to go talk this over a cup of tea."

"Gladly," She told her. "Maybe now he's learn to love the right woman."

"Yeah he already knows how to love me but he'll work on it," Alice shrugged and walked away. Gladys gave her an irritated look she didn't see and glanced back at FP.

"You see what I deal with?"

"Oh shut up," Gladys shut the door and went to go join Alice in the car.