she's mine.

61

"So you love him?"

The question rang in my ears over and over As I laid back on D's bed staring at her ceiling. She was cleaning her room and grabbing her books to go over some homework, she said we had to be somewhat productive throughout this week. I didn't even bring my books home, I didn't care to do homework. I liked my classes- actually loved my Lit. Class and Ms Ike, but I had no desire to study while my world was continuously falling apart and coming back together.

D had asked the question with a light tone, but the question itself held so much weight.

"I've only known him for approximately two weeks," I sighed. "You know that right?"

She waved me off as she finished hanging her clothes. "Time doesn't mean anything. Someone you meet tomorrow could have better intentions for you than someone you've known your whole life." I glanced over at her, she gave me a shrug, "I read that somewhere. It's kinda poetic," she tilted her head and smiled. "But it does have some truth behind it. I've known some girls in this town for 17 years and I'd still trust you with my life over them," she told me. "It's about the person, not how long you've known them."

I grunted.

I had no desire to even think about the L word right now. Everyone thinks they're in love in high school, and even though Eli is the most beautiful creature that may have walked the earth and he treats me like a queen while still being able to set me straight when I get out of line, I still don't want to be thinking about that.

"Fine," she laughed. "Okay tell me this then," she looked at me with a cautious look that made me nervous. What could be worse than her first question? "Does your brother actually like Lea or was he just trying to get back at Eli?"

Ugh. I wish we could go back to the other question.

I turned to look up at the ceiling as I sighed.

"They're like five years apart," I told her.

"Four." She corrected me which caused lips to twitch. She was something else.

I waved her off, "I think he does," I said carefully and watched her face brighten at the sound of 'love'. "But he understands he can't have her. He's way too old."

"Age is just a-

"Number," I finished for her. "Are you always this optimistic when it comes to love?" I rolled over, propping my chin up on my hand to look at her. She had changed into sweats and a baggy shirt and her blonde hair was in a bun. She smiled at me and I already knew my answer.

"I just believe in the good old fashioned love. You know, the hopeless romantic crap we see in movies? That's what I want."

"Is that what Levi gives you?"

I was genuinely curious. They seemed to make a great couple, but you never know what goes on when people don't have others watching.

She looked at me with very serious eyes. "Would I be with him if he didn't?" I began to laugh at her attitude.

"Guess not," I smiled. "So you love him?"

"Yup," she said as she sat down in the chair beside her desk and spun around.

"When did you know?" I asked timidly. I hated this conversation, and I hated that it pulled me out of my usual confident nature and into the unknown. "That you loved him?"

She stopped spinning and looked at me. She thought it over for a minute and then finally answered. "When he was the first person I wanted to call when I got an interview at the clinic," she smiled, but I thought there was something bittersweet about the smile until she continued. "And when my mom told me it was a waist of time. I realized that I wanted to call the same person after I was told the greatest and worst news.. And it was him." I realized why there was that bittersweet look. I nodded as it seemed to click for me. She had made a point, and I perceived it for how it was. Even though I didn't see relationships as a fairy tale the way she did, we found common ground in that it was something constant- through the good and the bad- it was worth something to you.