Addicted

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"I love you Colby. I think I have since the first time you laid those amazing eyes on me." He sighed, then pressed his soft lips quickly to mine.

 He pulled away entirely too soon, and I let out a whine. I actually whined.

What the hell was he doing to me?

A smug little smile crossed his face, before he pulled me up from the couch. He placed his large hands on my waist, and looked down at me.

"I love you too Chloe. More than I've ever loved anyone. I was a fucked up mess but," He shook his head. "I am a fucked up mess, but you make me want to be better. To do better." A warmth spread throughout my body, igniting a fire in my chest. "But there's something that you have to know. I'm terrified to tell you and I don't know if you will feel the same about me but..." He trailed off, worrying his bottom lip.

 "Colby, nothing you tell me can change my feelings. For Christ's sake, I already know that you have killed people. How much worse could it be?"

I tried not to think about those things, always shoving them from my mind when they popped up. I was going to have to face them now though. It was part of him, part of his past, and something that I needed to try and understand if I wanted to know him better.

 He shook his head.

 "There's more to it than that...I'm a monster. I'm so afraid that's all you're going to see and run away from me, screaming."

I placed my hand on his cheek. "I couldn't even if I wanted to. You've got me." I stated simply, and I knew it was true.

No matter what he told me, I was stuck. There was no way that I would be able to break this hold that he had over me. It was too strong.

My nightmare flashed in my mind again, the demon that scared the shit out of me. Even then, even when I was so scared I felt like my body would shake apart, I still went to him.

His eyes looked so sad, and worried, that it broke my heart. If I'm being honest, it kind of scared me too.

 What could be so bad that this tough, usually hard hearted guy didn't want to tell me, after everything that he had already told me?

"Just tell me. I'm right here. I promise."

His lips barely curved into a sad smile. "I don't want you to be alone when I tell you. Is it okay with you if some of the group is with us?"

My brow furrowed. I wasn't so sure I wanted everyone around when he told me whatever it was.

I didn't want everyone seeing my reaction.

"So everyone already knows whatever it is?"

 He nodded, chewing his lip. "Yeah..actually, they're involved with it too. How about just Sam and Katrina then? It's be nice for you to have someone that you really know by your side when I tell you what I have to say."

 "Kat knows too?" I asked, incredulously.

 He looked a little embarrassed but nodded.

 "Sam had to tell her when she told him that she loved him. The same as I'm doing with you."

This must be what Katrina was telling me that she couldn't tell me about.

The writer side of me was dying of curiosity while the normal part of my brain was shying away from the truth, scared to hear it.

Then I remembered something and shrugged.

 "Yeah, Sam and Kat being there is fine. I don't think it can be that bad anyways."

He chuckled a little darkly. "Why do you say that?"

I smiled at him. "Because Katrina is still here and I'm tougher than her. If she can handle it, so can I."

He closed his eyes and smiled.

When he opened them back up, he looked calmer.

 "You're right. Just remember that I do love you and I can't control this. Okay?"

Aaannd I was nervous again.

I swallowed hard, and took his hand in mine, ready to face whatever was coming.

"Okay."

 He nodded, and led me over to Sam's room.

 Before he even knocked, I heard Sam's voice.

"Come on in Brother."

Colby opened the door, letting me go inside first.

 I had never been inside Sam's room before. It was so...clean. I was shocked that one whole wall was bright pink, and there was a painting of a Toucan hanging on the other side. Strange but somehow, it fit what I knew of Sam's personality.

He looked like he was just waking up, his blonde hair mussed, dark shadows under his eyes more pronounced. His hand went to his hair, trying to fix it and somehow it worked. I was actually starting to hate him and Colby for that, just a little bit.

Their damn hair always looked perfect, even when they first woke up. It didn't make sense.

"Good morning Chloe." He said, smiling his perfect smile at me.

 He was so cute, I almost blushed.

 "It's not morning Sam. It's like 2 pm or something. You guys sleep too late around here."

He and Colby exchanged a glance and he chuckled. "Yeah...so brother, it's that time already? Moving fast huh?"

 Colby glared at him, but he just winked back. "Can you get Katrina?" Colby asked. "I would like for Chloe to have her friend here when she finds out...when I tell her."

Sam looked at me, like he was searching my eyes for something.

 I was slightly uncomfortable under his scrutiny, but he looked back to Colby soon.

"Yeah, I'll be right back. Might as well make yourselves comfortable."

Then he was gone. Considering that he was literally still lying in bed when we walked in, that was impressive.

 "How did he do that?"

Colby raised his eyebrows. "Do what?"

"Leave the room so fast. That was...fast." I didn't know how else to explain it.

The writer in me had lost the ability to form more descriptive words for the moment, my nervousness making my brain not work correctly.

"Oh," Colby's hand came up to the back of his head, running through his hair. "Um..we'll talk about all that when they get back."