I Only Knew to Run (a Demi Lovato fanfic)

Rise and Shine

Valerie's POV:

It's been a week since Demi has been in the hospital. And in that week there hasn't been one day that I haven't hurt myself.

It's Friday nigh and I'm laying in the hospital bed against Demi, resting my head in the crook of her neck. Tears slowly cascaded down my cheek and onto her skin. I just wanna forget.

Dianna went to get Chinese takeout and had left the hospital only five minutes ago. She's probably be back in half an hour so this is my time to just cry and be myself.

"Please, Demi." My voice cracked, "Please don't leave me. We all need you... We all miss you."

I got up to go to the bathroom and as I was washing my hands I heard some shuffling around the room. Was Dianna back this early? I opened the bathroom door that was attached to Demi's room and did not believe what I saw. My jaw practically hit the ground. "Oh fuck no. Am I going crazy?"

Demi was sitting up in her bed, her head turned towards me. "If you don't close that mouth of yours you're gonna catch flies." God how I missed her laugh.

"Demi!! You're awake!!"

I engulfed her in a hug, as if something in me had thought that she would never wake up again. My arms around her gripped her sides tightly. "Wait." I excitedly rushed to open the room door. "Nurses, my sister woke up!" I danced in the hallway like a lunatic as I made my way to the front desk of the ICU floor. "She woke up," I grabbed Demi's nurse's hand and practically dragged her to her room. "She's up! Don't you see?"

"Oh shit, you're right." She rushed to Demi's side and began checking her vitals. "How are you feeling?"

"I'm really thirsty and got a massive headache, but I'm awake and that's all that matters." Demi wore one of her famous smiles. I was in awe that she still looked beautiful. Her slightly messy pink hair cascaded down her sides and she didn't have make up on but yet she looked beautiful.

The nurse left to get Demi some water and to bring the nurses in. I just snuggled to her side. "Baby girl, I've missed you so much."

Just as she said that the door opened. In walked Dianna with a few other people. She had dropped her keys on the floor and picked them up with one hand, Chinese takeout in the other. "So Valerie, I know you might not be ready but I brought a few people as a surprise because I really-" she looked up and saw Demi sitting on her hospital bed, wide awake. "Holy fuck," she dropped the takeout in shock and it splattered all over the floor but she didn't care. "Demetria, you're alive!!!"

I got up from the bed so Dianna could reclaim my spot. She smothered kisses all over Demi and got lipstick all over her cheeks. Demi laughed her infectious laugh, "Mom, of course I'm alive. Did you really think I'd leave you that easy?"

Dianna just smiled in return. "That's right, you're my warrior."

So that's what it's like to have a mother and daughter bond. Wow.

My train of thought was interrupted by two girls also running over to Demi's side. "Dems, I'm so glad you're okay. We've been worried sick about you!"

"Maddie, I've missed you so much."

I quietly backed up towards the door. Diannna had brought Maddie and Dallas. And I know it's not their fault but it's hard for me to stand them, especially Maddie because Dianna kept them. And she had Maddie after me and she kept her. How is that even fair? To me, it felt like it shouldn't even be legal.

I slowly continued to back up until I tripped over someone. "Hey you okay, munchie?"

Munchie? I thought. From the floor I looked up into the eyes above me - Eddie De La Garza. "Oh," I mumbled. "Hi."

He reached out a hand to pick me up. To my surprise, I took it. "You must be Valerie," he smiled at me. Why was he smiling? Shouldn't he hate me?

"It's Val," was all I could muster while brushing off hospital floor dust from my jeans. "Uhm..nice to meet you." Everyone in the room was staring at us and I couldn't take it b

Maybe I don't want a family. Maybe I wish I never found Demi. Maybe I should've killed myself this week while I had the chance. Maybe I should go kill myself right now...

"Uh I'll be right back," I lied, scurrying out the hospital room. My legs lead me down the hallway and I kept running until I got completely lost. I found a tray in front of a random room with a bunch of doctor utensils and a bottle of pills. I took a scalpel and the bottle of pills and darted down the hallway to find the nearest bathroom.

After all, I only knew to run.

A/N hey everyone sorry that this is really bad :( i'm writing on my phone during school lol. But i just wanted to thank y'all for all of your support. I got a lot of messages after last chapter asking if i was okay because i was in the hospital and i thought i'd just address this on here. I have a tumor and i've been growing up with it my whole life. It's just something that's kind of a norm for me. And honestly what i've learned from spending countless days in the hospital and everything is that it's honestly all such a blessing. It's helped me to realize how precious life really is as i've almost died from it since there's no cure for what i have. Anyways, why i'm sharing this with all of you is because i want you to realize how precious life really is. So many people get it taken away at a young age and they dont even have the choice. Ive seen it with my own eyes in the hospital. Sure , i may write about depression and self harm and suicide but i do not condone any of it. Have i been through it? Yes. But it has made me stronger and has helped me realize the beauty of life. If any of y'all have questions or just wanna talk feel free to comment or to message me. Sorry for the long author's note. I love all of you!