I Only Knew to Run (a Demi Lovato fanfic)

Out of Reasons

Val's POV:

It was my third day in the mental hospital. Today was visitors day, that means in the evening Demi was coming. We got two ten minute phone calls a day and I told her not to bring Wilmer.. I kinda just wanted to see her alone. To be able to talk to her.

The psychiatrist here put me on some medication, it just made me feel empty. I laughed a lot less even though it just started. So apparently the two girls Sydney and Melanie are a lot of trouble. It seemed to be something different every day. The staff almost switched Sydney and I to roomates to force us to somehow get along better. Thank God that didn't happen. Tegan was the queen bee in that trio but I could tell she wasn't like the other two. So why did she hang with them?

We were on our way to the gym for recreational therapy. "Alright," Mr.Chris said. "Get in a line, shortest to tallest." All fourteen girls lined up, I was in after Melanie and in front of Sydney. "You know the drill girls, you don't look at anyone or talk to anyone. Heads down and hands behind your back." To get to the gym we had to pass through the adult unit and most of them were legit psychos.

We walked through the doors, Sydney whispered in my ear, "If you tell you everyone will know you're Demi's sister." 

"How do you-"

And with that she discreetly shoved me into one of the crazed adults walking by. The man freaked out and started to punch me every which way. The wind was knocked out of me. And my eyes were threatening to close. The middle aged man continued to send blows to my head and stomach, he was screaming like a mad man.

Five staff members had rushed over to us and pulled him off of me. I ran into Sasha's arms, crying. "What the hell do you think you were doing?" She yelled at me and I quickly backed away from her.

"But I didn't-" Sydney shot me a quick glare, her and Melanie snickered in the backround. Tegan looked at me with a tear falling down her cheek. "Sorry, I just tripped and fell into him. I don't know what happened." Between sobs I was gasping for air. 

Sasha shot me a look that said she didn't believe my story. Shit. Whatever, Ima have to go with it and then figure out how Sydney knew later. "Sasha, you take the kids to the gym. And I'll take Valerie back."

Mr.Chris roughly grabbed my arm and led me back to the children's side. "What the hell were you thinking Valerie? You could've gotten seriously hurt."

"I am seriously hurt!" My voice surprisingly interjected his. Bruises had already started to form on my arms and legs. "I just tripped, that was all. Everyone knows I'm a clutz..."

After being questioed about the incident for fifteen minutes I was sent to my room. They had threateded to take my visiting hour away but the psychiatrist said it would be good for my recovery so they interjected. 

They don't care about you. C'mon Val, you know what to do so that we'll go away. You just have to do it. And we'll go. 

"Stop stop stop!" I begged the demons to shut up. But they wouldn't. There was nothing I could cut with so I just rolled up my skinny jeans and stared at the scabs on my knees and lower legs.

Rip 'em open. The blood will calm us. They'll calm you. C'mon, Demi doesn't care. She'd be happy for you to die. You're gonna make her relapse.

And with that I slashed my nails across the old cuts, blood breaking free as I ripped them open. Some of the blood trickled down my legs and some flowed fast. I layed down in the bed, satisfied with what I had done. Mayb'e I'll let them bleed out. 

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Apparently I had fallen asleep because I opened my eyes to Tegan jostling me awake. "Val, what the hell did you do?" I abruptly sat up to see the white sheets of the shitty hospital bed that was nailed to the floor stained with blood.