I Only Knew to Run (a Demi Lovato fanfic)

Heart Attack

Demi's POV:

The drive back to the apartment was silent. I didn't know how I should approach Valerie on this. I knew for sure that I wouldn't be letting her sleep alone if she was going to hurt herself. And the major question was - will I be able to help her without relasping myself? I think so... Well, I hope so. But I feel in my heart that I need to help her anyways. It's gonna be a battle, but we'll get through it together.

"Uh Demi?"

"Oh shit. Yeah?" I piped up, realizing that we were parked at the apartment complex. How long have we been sitting here? "Sorry, I was just thinking."

"I'm sorry, Demi. I didn't think what I did would hurt you."

I turned to her, the way her eyes shined that certain way I could tell how broken she was inside. "Val, I love you like a littler sister. Of course it hurt, but it's not going to make me stop loving you." I brushed the hair out of her right eye. "Valerie, I don't know what's going on but I feel like we have some sort of connection. I can feel it in my heart. There's just something that draws me to you. Please talk to me, I want to help."

"I keep thinking about my mom."

"What about her, baby girl?"

"I never knew her."

"What do you mean?" I asked, confused.

She averted her eyes from me and to her knees. "Uhm. Well. I was in foster care as a child, then I was adopted..." 

"Wait, so what about your parents... And the whole car accient?"

"Those were my adoptive parents." There was no emotion in her voice what so ever. It was like all feeling was sucked out of her small body.

I pulled her close. "It's okay to feel sad about it."

"No it's not. It's my fault they died. I should've been taking care of them!"

"What do you mean?"

"Ever since Ryan left they just went in this downwards spiral. Before he left I promised to take care of them.. He cried."

"Who's Ryan?" 

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Valerie's POV:

"Who's Ryan?"

At the mention of his name by another person my soul shuttered. Why am I being so open right now? Do I tell her the truth? Can she even help me?

"Uhm, he's my adoptive brother." Why am i still talkingggg. "He's in jail though..."

The inevitable tears started to come. I never used to cry this much. Demi probably thinks I'm a cry baby. I don't know what's wrong with me. My knees began shaking and my breathing became quick. Oh please not again, I begged my insides. Oh please not right now. Not another panick attack. You're gonna look like a freak.

Flashback: TRIGGER WARNING
"Alright, Valerie. This is how it's gonna work." He pushed me onto the bed and pulled down my pants. "Mom and Dad are never gonna find out, and you are gonna cooperate. If you don't, I'll kill that little friend you have at school.

I whimpered.

"What? You don't want you're only friend gone, do you?" I didn't respond. "That's what I thought."

He pushed my head back and started feeling me up, starting from the bottom. Then before I knew it he was on top of me and pushed him into me, hard. I didn't want this. But he kept going-
*flashback over*

"Val! Valerie!" Demi kept calling my name. I finally opened my eyes and looked up at her. "Breathe!"

I let out my breath, not realizing that I was holding onto it. "Don't let him get me!" I screamed and practically jumped into her arms. "Don't let him get me!'

"Who, baby girl? I'll protect you!"

"Ryan!! Get him away!!" I was freaking out. It was as if I could feel him touching me. 

"He's not here, baby girl. You're safe with me." She stroked my hair till I calmed down. "You're safe in my arms. I've got you."

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Demi's POV:

It was a while before I got Valerie to fully calm down and take her up to the apartment. It was already ten at night so I told her we should just head to bed and we could even talk more if she wanted. "Val, I'm gonna have to ask you to sleep in my room with me."

"Uhm okay." She said, knowing why.

Once we got settled into bed, Val turned to me. "Demi?"

"Yeah, baby girl?"

"Can we talk?"

"Of course, sweet heart." I was so glad that she was finally opening up to me, it was hard not to sound over excited.

"I don't know how to get over it."

"Get over what?" I questioned. Even though it was dark I could still see the innocent fear in Valerie's eyes. It was the same fear my eyes held back when I was her age. God I sound old.

"What he did to me." She whispered. I gave her a confused look. Should I ask what he did? "I can tell that you're wondering..." I opened my out to say something but it turned out that I didn't have to. "He raped me."