TGGBB: Bennomi ships.

21

A/n this was suggested by ThatWeirdoPotato thanks for that!

I grabbed the blade. I know, I said I would never do this.

But my best friends have left me. Declan has stormed off over the little argument about him not being there for me. Understatement of the year, it was actually a big argument.

Jordan, well, he has been going through some hard times with his family. He's just been locked in his room, crying his eyes out.

Bennetts been there, but in his own little world. He's either cooking, reading, driving or thinking. Or sleeping. Nothing else. I just don't know what to do.

The bullying has gotten worse. I've given up trying to ignore it. I've lost two of the musketeers and one is in his own world. I sometimes wonder what he is thinking at times.

The pranks, the names, the 'acidentally-tripping-over', the knocking me over. All of it has gotten worse.

And that leads to where I am now. About to do something I would never do, but I just can't pull away. I want to feel the pain I deserve. The pain that no other pain can meet. I don't want any pain. I want this pain. The pain that will distract me from my mental pain, all my thoughts swirling about in my head.

All their words are right. Useless. Annoying. Ugly. In everyone's way. Using the boys. Selfish. Ruins everything she touches, actually everything she looks at and if it's in a 10 mile radius of her. Does she seriously think she will pull of that look? She seriously needs to look at herself, oh wait! She can't. She's blind.

The stares, the whispers. Everything is going out of control. I'm finding out the truth about myself, the thing I've never believed before.

I held the razor tighter.

I moved my hand towards my wrist.

I placed the razor on my skin.

I slowly moved it over.

The blood poured out of my arm, down into the sink. The pain rushed to my head. I went dizzy for a minute, before everything went clear. I see why people do it now. It's so..... satisfying. You get to hurt yourself when you do everything wrong, over and over again.

The door burst open. "Naomi, where's my r-" Bennett stopped mid-sentence.

I looked up at him, the dirty razor touching my skin, ready to make another scar. I saw Bennetts face and tears pricked my eyes. He slowly moved over to me and took the razor out of my hand, gently.

"Come on, Naomi. It's ok." He pulled me into a warm hug. Something I have missed since the boys haven't been the same. Bennett leant his head on mine, slowly stroking my hair. Suddenly, I burst. Tears streamed out of my eyes. "Please, Naomi, never again. Do you promise me you won't do it again?"

I didn't move.

"Please, Naomi. It's so upsetting to see you like this."

I just nodded my head. "Thank you, Naomi. Now, why did you do it?"

I spilled the whole story between sobs. "Declan hasn't spoken to me since the argument. Jordan is wrapped up in family business, and you, you've been in your own little world. A lot more than usual."

"I'm sorry. I should've been there. You could have still spoken to me. I know it's awkward 'cause we don't talk much, but if it gets this bad again, talk to me. Don't try to paint on an already beautiful picture."

I buried my face into his shirt. I cried harder and harder, until I ran out of tears. Bennett held my hand and walked me out of the bathroom and into the living room. Jordan and Declans heads turned towards me.