Living in Sin

30

I quickly ran home to be with my boys, I look at my watch to only see it's four, meaning Art probably watching Star Wars with Luca.  Something I always seem to miss and only get to see in videos that Grant shares.
Just as I drove in I spotted Beatrice leaving our home but also notice Art car wasn't around.
"Hey Bea."
"Ray of sunshine, Grant is inside with Luca."
I squeezed my eyebrows together as Art always beat us on getting home.
"Have you seen Art?"
Beatrice looks down with a hint of sadness, "nope Luka been missing him a lot lately but every time we call him, he says something come up. That's not like him. He loves that boy he would never leave him hanging."
I just walk inside as I see Luka and Grant in living room watching Star Wars but for first time ever sadness fills Luka eyes.  Even though his father is sitting right next to him doing same thing like Art, it still doesn't fill up the need of having his papa.
I walk closer as Luka spots me "mom!"
I smiled at our son he fills my heart. I grab him into my arms as I spin him in circles.  Grants lets go of small laughs. When we finally stop he gives me a peck of kiss on my forehead. "I'll start dinner." He says as he walks away.

•*•*•*•*•*•*•*•*•*•*•*•*•

We all sit for dinner looking at the time as Art never comes home, we continue on without him.  Even as the clock strikes midnight he still doesn't come home, my body fills with worrisome. 
No text messages no calls nothing. 
I call his secretary she told me there was emergency at the charity and he was still there when she left.
I try brush it off but sleep doesn't come easy, because I need him in order to sleep.  I toss and turn slamming my fist into bed.
I hear my door open to see Grant standing before me with sweat pants and no shirt.
"Hey get some sleep I promise you his okay." 
I nod my head okay.
"Want me to join you ?"
I let go of sad face as I agree.
"I know am not him but you know I feel for you just the same."
I felt bad because I never sleep with Grant.
"It's not like that, I love you with all my heart. I don't love one more than the other just I got so used to hear him near me all these years I don't how to sleep without him."
I let go of a sigh as I confess to Grant how I feel for Art, he doesn't show jealously but I can sense his tension.  But I place my head into his chest as I finally let go letting  sleep consume me.

Days have turn into weeks and I was rarely going home.  I was holding on to secret and I wanted to make things easier on them not harder.  
After several weeks I came home early, I walk in the house as I heard Luka voice yell " papa Artie!! Your home."
My heart broke at his sweet voice, " Hey little man."  My hand fussed with his hair.
Everyone was at dinner table eating as my place was empty.
"Go on and eat." He smile as he walked away.
Both Emma and Grant shared a look, they seem closer than usual. I walked passed them to my room as I grab a bag from my closet to fill it up with clothing.
Just grabbing what I can, I piled clothes into the bag.
"Hey your not going to eat ?? Wait .. where are you going?"
She ask with hint of sadness in her voice
" I'm leaving, I know where I'm not wanted."
I saying harshly
" Not wanted? What are you talking about?"
She confusedly asked.
"Look, I can't share you! And I found someone else."
Her eyes open widely in shock.
"Share me? This was your idea? Who is she? I mean;  I don't want lose you! I'll share you Art, pleas don't go! Have her move in please don't leave us. Don't leave Luka and I."

Her pleading words break my heart I don't want to leave but I need to.
" I can no longer do this,the house is yours like I promise."
With that I start walking out as I see Grant hold Luka in his arms with television on full blast. We must have spoken loudly.I look back at both almost saying good bye as I walk out the door for good.

Art leaves our house with sadness in his eyes but something doesn't sit right in me. I can hear their conversations about how he can't share her and how he has someone else . I quickly grab Lukas as we make our way to tv room to placing the television loudly as I try block their conversation from his ears.
Today was going to be great night we were going to tell Art, we're expecting and we both had a feeling it was Arts.   We both did calculations and he was accountable of this bundle of joy.  I had notice Emma skin glowing and her need for sex was worse than ever. She was eight weeks along.
I was extremely happy, my body filled with joy. Lukas was going to have a brother or sister.
But now Emma news was nothing but pain.
I tried to hold my anger back because I knew Lukas and Emma were going to need me.
I watched him look at Lukas and I with sadness as he left our lives. Emma was in full blown tears as I pick my our son in my arms to go hold her as well.
I can tell Lukas was trying hold back his tears as he lean over his moms body as his lower half was still on my mine.
"Mom don't cry, Uncle Ali always says that angels see our tears and hear our sorrows, they try to fix our problems."
Our son once again full of wisdom.